Teapot's New In-Laws, Part Two

As I mentioned last time, I started this adventure on Ancestry.com to find the name of my father's grandparents. After being contacted by Mike's siblings in Thanksgiving, I continued searching for this unknown person knowing only his last name, approximate age, and a few names scattered through memories and scraps of aged paper. 

I had all but given up hope. This find was to be a Christmas gift for my father and his one remaining sister. Link after link pulled me further into histories that were almost sure to not be linked to our history. And then, on CHRISTMAS EVE of 2012, I found and followed a new branch of Lindseys, and typed in those names once again. As I added more information, the names fell into place, and I found my great grandfather! That's him up in the top left corner, and it's obvious he shared genes with my father!

Later, after submitting my DNA, 
the data cemented the lineage. 
That is my great grandfather, 
Benjamin Perry Lindsey.
And this is a picture of Benjamin's grandson, holding his great, great, great granddaughter. 


Christmas time brought exchanged snippets and photos with Mike's siblings. None of us knew quite how to approach the subject, and all of us were afraid to hurt each other, or to push too hard. For the next several years, we exchanged birthday greetings, holiday wishes, and pictures of new babies through Facebook. And then. . . 

On March 5th of this year (2018),Mike's sister in law (SIL) shared a clip on Facebook of Dolly Parton doing an interview. Underneath SIL commented that

she was excited to go to Dollywood and see some of the grandkids. My mouth dropped open and I yelled to Mike to find out how many hours it takes us to drive there even though I pretty much knew. Three hours, three teensy little hours. I commented on her post, and the information spewed out. The dates, and possible schedule, and tears, and laughter opening up to an actual get together of the two brothers that had never met or spoken.

At that point, most of the barriers fell. We video chatted with Mike's brother, and SIL. A few days later, we did the same with his younger sister. She cried tears of joy, saying she had waited for this call most of her life.  It turns out that the siblings all knew about Mike, while he knew very little of them. His birth mother had shared information with her other children and had hoped to find Mike again to see if he had done well. Soon after that, we chatted with his older sister, and her daughter. We all had goose bumps from being excited and a bit afraid. This was wonderfully huge!

On Tuesday, March 27th we drove the three hours to Pigeon Forge, TN, our two daughters and their families met us there. Our son couldn't join us, but we showed off pictures of him and his wife. It was late evening, and all of us planned to meet for supper. But since we were staying in the same hotel, and Mike was an eager and anxious as a person can be and survive, we walked to their room and knocked on the door. 

Mike walked in and said "I don't know what to feel or do." His brother said "The same here." Then happened a hug that I will never forget. Two brothers united at last. I have goose bumps remembering that first meeting again. It was a precious time.

Then we all went to a nearby restaurant for a late supper. There were stories and tears, and much laughter. During all of this, they video called their younger sister. She shared a screenshot from her phone on Facebook telling everyone that she was finally together with her brothers. It was incredible. In a way, it was newly awkward, and in another like we had all shared a lifetime. After a few hours that flew by like seconds, our whole exhausted crew turned in for the evening.

The next day we spent talking and talking and talking. We ate breakfast, and then moved to a McDonald's with a play area for the grandkids. The older cousins watched over their little toddler cousin with love and delight. I can't exaggerate how miraculous all of this seemed. Sadly, the time approached for Mike's brother to leave. We lingered a few more minutes to say goodbyes, and then a few more moments outside McDonald's for pictures and promises to meet again.

We left with tears of joy, sadness, and love. Mike, his brother and two sweet sisters have a lifetime of stories to share. Mike now knows a bit more about his birth mother, and how she loved him. We pray we can go west to meet more family in person later this year.

I must give credit for all of this joy to God's timing. If I had not started a family tree on Ancestry, if I had not seen the Dollywood post, if the week they were in Tennessee had not been Mike's week off from work, and much more. . . . God's mysterious ways and blessings. 

Serve God, love others.

Teapotjan 

Teapot's New In-Laws, Part One

 Some of my actual ancestors.

I almost went a month without posting, but I have much on my heart, and mind that I want to share. One of things I've realized lately comes with the desire to tell my story to anyone who will listen or read in the hopes that I can give them some encouragement and edification. God expects us to use our talents, and I stand rebuked for not having done that. I cannot change anything in the past, but I can certainly change my future with His help.

March 2018 goes down in family history as a great and wonderful mile marker. As promised to some of you, this is the story of how Ancestry.com and Facebook brought together siblings that had never before talked or met.

Little Mike

My husband, Mike, grew up with loving, adopted parents that welcomed him into their hearts on Christmas Eve 1960. He was only a few days old, and even though he grew up knowing he was adopted, his adopted parents were Mom and Dad. The few details he knew about his birth mother satisfied his curiosity until around the spring of 2012. At that point, I shared with him a few pictures of his birth mother, and three of his siblings along with letters that his birth mother sent to his adopted mom. The two mothers shared correspondence until Mike turned 18. After that all communication from the birth mother ceased. 

Meanwhile, I had been asking my father about family ties and names, and found that he did not know his grandparent's names. He was the youngest of eight children with a wide spread of years between the oldest sibling and himself. That spring of 2012, I joined Ancestry.com and began to build our family tree. After asking permission, I also started a tree for Mike with the bit of information his mom had left with me. I had the birth date and name of his birth mother, and a rough idea of where she had lived.

Thanksgiving that year brought a huge and wonderful surprise. I received a message from a lady saying that the name I had for Mike's mother was the same as her mother's name. I wrote back telling her that I might have an unexpected surprise for her. I scanned and sent her one of the pictures of Mike's birth mom and siblings. Her reply was an thrilling "That's me, and my brother and my sister, and my MOM! I've found Mama's lost son! Finally!" They had been searching for Mike, and neither he nor I had a clue. 

We connected on Facebook and chatted back and forth through FB messenger, and became a little acquainted. But matters like this can be awkward, and both sides approached each other slowly. But this past March, things leapt forward in the best of ways. I'll share the rest of this saga in my next post.                                       

Serve God and love others,

Teapotjan

Back on the Fire--Teapot's Return

Some of you who know me personally know that I do not attend church. I said it long ago in an ancient post, and it is still true. I feel very uncomfortable in regular church meetings due to my background in IFB and the subsequent and overwhelming emotional issues that accompany such a background.  

I skipped blogging the entire year of 2017. No excuses. Nothing stirred me to the point that I needed to let off steam, at least not in a public forum. I don't like to share if I don't think my words will help someone. And I didn't feel that anything I could say would edify or entertain or . . . anything. We went through a major remodel and I love the results. I may share more of that in the future. Also, I have fallen more in love everyday with my granddaughter. And this doting grandma dares you to find a sweeter, cuter, smarter little girl on the planet. I do NOT exaggerate. :0)

So, why come back to blogging at all? Isn't everything the same? You still aren't going to church, and you're still busy, and you are still doting on your granddaughter. What is new?

Actually nothing is new. But I received a reminder yesterday that God uses adverse circumstances to allow His children to show others His grace and love. 

My husband has joined a local church that has existed for a long time here in this area. I have visited that church over the years, and some of the things they once subscribed to really bothered me. However, in recent years, the church leaders have addressed those issues in a Godly manner. I still can't imagine going to a regular service on a regular basis. But, because of a major distraction and difficult event (husband's knee replacement), God sent my way a sweet friend who demonstrates the kind of life a Christian lives when they truly serve God and love others. She invited me to a women's luncheon. The ladies were sweet and friendly. The speaker's message broke my heart for her sorrow, and her words reminded me that I do have a story to tell. I can use my continuing hurt and my failures to demonstrate God's grace, and its best attribute-HOPE.


I know that even when I took that long walk to my van and lost my belief in Him and my faith was gone, He had not moved or changed. He knew I felt hopeless and hurt and useless. And remembering that has put this short, stout teapot back in the fire.

If you need a friend, a shoulder to cry on, or have questions, please let me know. With God's help, I will do my best to help and encourage you. Or just listen. 






With great love,
Teapotjan

Serve God. Love others.

Abuse Within the IFB Bubble

Below find a link to the personal testimony of a brave lady who suffered abuse with the IFB system. She now shares how she struggled and survives. Please take the time to read her story. This kind of thing must end.

A Personal Story of Abuse from Wendy Terrado

Time Flies Whether You're Having Fun or Not

Life goes by very quickly, as most of you know. I've often wondered how long days can turn into short years, and how a week can fly by and turn into six months. The relativity of time amazes me. And it baffles me, too.

That said, my family and I have had an eventful year. Part of it wonderful, and part of it agonizing, and all of it tempered with love, tears, and grace. And most of all it was FAST! My life train and personal plans and this blog and my art life have all been derailed several times, and attempts to put it back on track only partially successfully. By far, the biggest blessing was this young lady, my granddaughter Madeline. All the things they say about being a grandparent are more than true. When your baby has a baby. . . it's just too sweet and precious for words.

I am going to post this and another blog entry together. This one to say that hopefully, I am returning to regular posting, and another to share another blogger's post concerning the issue of abuse. The entries I will share specifically deal with a victim speaking out and bravely sharing her tragic story.

Serve God, love others.
Teapotjan, Grandma!