The Tempestuous Times of Teapot's Tempest

Apologies to my readers, and myself for waiting so long to post. I need this outlet, but I've let the tempest overtake me for awhile. I think I owe you all a quick update.

I started on my Masters degree last fall. Two classes down, and eleven more to go! I am waiting to sign up for the last class of this session to take my third class because my oldest daughter is getting married in May right after Memorial Day. We are putting this extravaganza together in about three months time in order to accommodate a dear friend and adopted family member who will be deployed soon. His presence is a must, so we are happily pressed for time. It will be a delight to include him in our family celebration!

In addition to this wedding, another very close friend, who is like my sister, has a son getting married in July. I'm helping coordinate that celebration and the push for that one is on as well! Oh, and my youngest finishes high school in a few weeks with all the parties, and hoopla that entails. I guess I'm a teapot IN a tempest.

All of this, along with job and family, leaves little time for blogging. But, at times, my heart overflows and I feel I must get back to sharing what I'm learning on this journey from guilt to grace. It's not easy, and I trip, and back track, and fail, but the goal is still the same: to serve God and love others.

My return, though late, has to do with something that has been around for a while. Frankly, I thought this matter had been put to rest. But more and more of late, it creeps its ugly way back into my mind as a tool of Satan I'm sure. Here I sit on my computer, a fifty-three year old mother of three, saved since I was five, and I have to fight doubt about my faith. No, I can't believe it either, but there it is. This isn't a question of my salvation. It's much bigger than that. 

When I first felt that I must leave my job at a certain Christian University, I had already begun to question why I believed what I did. As that situation grew worse, and my heroes fell from their high places, I began to doubt. Big Time. Call it cynicism if you will, but I began to examine their teachings, and all the things that I had been taught as absolute truth and doctrine since I was born, literally. And in that examination I found many, many, many problems. Much of my fundamentalist training was based on OPINION! Not fact, not even interpretation, but some man's so-called "blessed" of the Holy Spirit; Bible-thumping; say-it-louder-until-these-idiot-sinners-understand; can-I-get-an -amen? brow-wiping OPINION that came to them while driving down the road in their Lincoln town car on the way to another meeting. 

Most of us who have left fundamentalism have been labeled as "bitter." And,in all honesty, I have to say I have struggled with it, especially at the start. I looked back at all the guilt I had endured. All the culottes I had sewed and worn, along with the lace my mom sewed on the bottom of a dress to make it "long enough." I thought about the hoops we had to jump through to be "good" Christians, and all the hell-fire-and-brimstone messages I had heard, and I got bitter. Still do, sometimes.

I grew up thinking that Hell was the reason we were to be good. And we should put up every stop sign and blockade necessary to keep people from following the wrong road to Hell. The emphasis was Hell, and eternal damnation. And so many of us were saved, not into God's grace, but from Hell, and we had to live our lives in an exact way to prove it. It was considered loving to buttonhole a person and tell them they were "Going straight to Hell" unless they repented.
     
It was at this point, that my faith went out from underneath me. I don't think those around me realized how bleak it was for me. They believed my tears

and upset caused by the loss of a job I had loved, and a way of life I had dreamed about since youth. That was part of it. But, much deeper, it was the loss of my belief that God was in control, and that Godly men had prayed and done His will in all these things. They had not. They couldn't have. A lot of what they had said were virtually lies. They were pompous, egotistical MEN who forced their way into congregations, denominations, and Christian universities. It all became a sham to me. I've studied communications and psychology a long time, and I recognized the spin they had put on their sermons, and rules, and all of their . . . . . um, manure. And, believe me, I was bitter.

In my next post, I'll deal with what had recently brought some of this bitterness back, and how God is helping me to get past it. Here's a news flash: God is AWESOME, ETERNAL, FAIR, AND LOVING. He did not leave me in this dark time. I'll share more next time.

Serve God. Love others!
Teapotjan.

Teapot's Theory about Hell

I seemed to have caused quite a stir when I mentioned I had come up with a personal theory concerning eternal punishment for those who do not accept Christ. This is truly just a personal study. I didn't get this from anyone. It isn't a revelation that came in a dream. It's just my study, and my thinking about what I have gleaned from my reading. With that said, I had a few readers ask me, with good reason, if I still believed in a literal Hell. 

To start off, yes I do. I'm including a sampling of verses from my study. It's not all inclusive by any means. All quoted verses are from the English Standard Version.The Scripture is clear that there is a place of punishment for those who do not accept God's gift of eternal life. One of the most obvious references is in the story of Lazarus in Luke 16: 23: "And in Hades, being in torment, he lifted up his eyes and saw Abraham far off and Lazarus at his side." Matthew 13: 41-42 states: "The Son of Man will send his angels, and they will gather out of his kingdom all causes of sin and all law-breakers, and throw them into the fiery furnace. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth." That's very clear. No change in translation or context for these verses, they say what they say.

One of the counter verses that comes up is I Thessalonians 1:9: "They will suffer the punishment of eternal destruction, away from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of his might." I see the words "eternal destruction, I do. But from other studies of God's grace and love, it was hard for me, personally, to believe that God would make any of His creation suffer for eternity. I am imperfect and petty, but my human thought process could see no reason for eternal suffering for anything or any being. And as I continued my search, I saw a pattern emerge.

It was the words "away from the presence of the Lord" that caught my attention. To be without the light of His love, and have the mantle of his Grace yanked away seems a terrible thing to me. So I reviewed verses concerning the fate of Satan and his followers. And the pattern that emerged was one of opposites.

Matthew 10:28 "And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell."

Psalm 145:20 "The Lord preserves all who love him, but all the wicked he will destroy."

John 3:16“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."

Finally, the wording from the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah in Jude 1:7 "Just as Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding cities, which likewise indulged in sexual immorality and pursued unnatural desire, serve as an example by undergoing a punishment of eternal fire." Sodom and Gomorrah no longer exists. Those cities are gone. But, the description says "eternal fire." As far as my limited knowledge of Greek and Hebrew takes me, the term "eternal fire" does not change from verse to verse.

In looking at this contrast, I see that eternal LIFE is the opposite of eternal DEATH. The verses concerning eternal damnation and eternal suffering all seem to me to show that the final end of Satan and his followers is annihilation when they are cast into the lake of fire mentioned in the book of Revelation. They will be destroyed. Gone. Cease to exist. Making their efforts until that point useless and empty. What a terrible thing to realize that everything you have ever done resulted in nothing, and you will not be remembered. You will be gone.

This theory hasn't changed my drive to serve God or to share the Gospel with others, and it should not change yours. No matter if I'm right or wrong, I know one thing for sure. Our God is just, holy, omniscient, immutable, and omnipotent and He will do what is right. Period.

Serve God,

Love Others!

Teapotjan

Nothing-----I mean ----NO ONE Between My Soul and My Saviour

I dearly love my father. He lives with me, and my family. He will be eighty-eight years old on St. Patrick's day this year. I am his only child, and he still watches over me as fiercely as his did when I was little. He is my hero.

Dad with his favorite dessert,
banana pudding.

He was saved in his early thirties, not long before he married my mother, and about two years before 

I was born. My folks were learning Christians when I was born. And being in the south, and being in the Bible belt, they grew in the Lord through fundamentalist churches. Yes, that is possible. God works in spite of human failings and misinterpretations. And I grew up as a "born-again, KJV Bible-believing, rapture-expecting, in-church-every-time-the-doors-open, marching-in-the-Lord's army, no-pants-wearing, no-cartoon-watching-or-unecessary-work-on-Sunday, don't-question-the

Shook his sweaty hand so much
his ring would fly off and hit
someone. Saw it firsthand.

'man of God,' independent Baptist, daughter-of-the-church-pianist, treasurer, deacon and adult Sunday school class teacher and his lady-fellowship-speaking, sing-in-the-choir, teach-the-little-kids Sunday school teacher." Can I get an amen? (At this point, if I were one of my old pastors, I'd wipe my brow with a large handkerchief and take a sip of water from the cup that one of the deacons had hidden in the pulpit). 

That being said, my dad is a loving and kind man. While he was, and is, part of the fundamentalist camp, his walk with the Lord has always been tempered with love. But even now, I see some of that old learning creeping into our conversations.

Today, we were talking about what the Bible actually says about the fate of those who do not choose God's gift of eternal life. I told him that I had been putting a lot of deep thought and study into it and had come to my own conclusions. That conclusion was contrary to the idea of eternal suffering and pain that we had always been told was a solid tenet based on Scripture. I gave several verses, peppered with a few greek word translations, and he listened intently. When I was done, he looked at me and asked, "did someone tell you this and you are buying into what they say?" I told him that to the contrary, this was my own study and my own interpretation of what I had read. And then it happened. My father shook his head and said "Deep thinking is a tool of Satan."

NO, NO, NO!

It all came back in a sweeping flood of doubt and confusion, a feeling that I should not have questioned what I had always been taught. That I should take some preacher man's word for what I believed. I'm a woman after all and I should be submis. . . . wait. The flood halted.

My conclusion did not contradict Scripture. It didn't change that we need to witness and bring all into God's grace that we can. It only changed another person's interpretation of Scripture that isn't as set as I was led to believe. That's all.

 And I stand before God as myself redeemed by Christ's sacrifice. He is my only advocate to God. Not my husband. Not a preacher. Not any other human. Me. Janet, deep-thinker and servant of God. No one between.

Teapotjan,

Beloved of God, and 

child of the King

"Better than I deserve"

How many times have you asked a good man or woman how they are and received the answer: "Better than I deserve!" My initial reaction the first time I heard it was to smile, and think "What a lovely, humble answer." And I don't really mind it now, except that in some ways I do. . . 

I understand what it means. We don't deserve to enter Heaven's gates. We don't deserve God's grace and mercy. Got it. Truly. I humbly admit that I am a sinner who can never,ever live up to God's holy standard. I fail at it every day.

But do we "deserve" to be miserable, in ill health, and in poverty on this earth as opposed to being happy, healthy, and employed? Is that God's plan for His children? In His word, does He say that we are to be less than happy? We suffer from the effects of the Fall and from sin entering creation, but does that lessen or diminish what we deserve?

Recently, since I am still on this journey from guilt to grace, I started pondering that saying.

There are over eighty verses in the Bible concerning "joy"and a dozen or more concerning "prosperity." Third John 1:2 says "Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth." John writes to those he teaches and leads about prospering in life, health, and in Christ. 

"So," you say, "what's your point, Teapot?" Well, here goes. . . Those of us who grew up in big "F" Fundamentalism spent most of our lives being told we were nothing, pitiful, awful beings, unworthy of love, unworthy of happiness, scum fit only to be scraped off the shoes of the Almighty. Being so lowly, any happiness that we enjoyed was "more than we deserve." I can't tell you how many services I left feeling useless and completely unworthy to serve God. 

Maybe some of my fellow churchgoers were driven to service by those hopeless words, but I found them discouraging and belittling to my self image and my worth in Christ. I mean if I'm so lowly, what good am I and why would God want me to serve Him? I already struggled with a low self image, and the knowledge that I didn't really fit in to most places, and I was constantly told by men I respected that I was bad, bad, bad. I have to tell you that did not help stave off the depression!

But I live under Grace now. I realize that God thought me worthy enough to send His Son to die for me. He endowed me with certain talents, and a certain personality. He made me unique. He loves and cherishes ME. If us mere humans take that much trouble for someone we want them to prosper and be happy-correct? Then how much more does a perfect and loving God want for us?  

I'm not teaching a prosperity Gospel. I don't think that serving God equals riches and goods like some well-know television preachers preach. I do firmly believe that He wants us to enjoy our time on the earth He created. He makes the everyday things like sunsets and sunrises extraordinarily beautiful.Our toddlers smile and gurgle like angels. He allowed us to invent ways to consume chocolate, and steak, and potatoes, and ice cream. We live in an imperfect world because of sin, but He has still provided a universe of beauty, pleasure, and happiness.


So, if you ask me how am I, I'll be thinking: "I'm blessed and enjoying what God has provided for me. I hope I can get more! He loves me and He wants the very best for me!" But, since that reply usually gets me strange looks, I'll probably say "I'm doing okay!"

Living a prosperous life,

Teapotjan

The Teapot's Wish List

We've hit Christmas time. It came quickly this year. November flew by as I was working on my master's class, doing early shopping, working, and planning for the holidays. It's that time when I ask, and am asked "What do you want? Do you have your wish list? No, really, what do you need?"

Well, I'm at a point in my life where I have a lot of things, too many actually. And the material things that I might want or need are related to home improvement or vehicle upgrades. In other words, stuff way too high priced for a typical wish list. So I usually mumble something like "iTunes gift card" or "candles" or "chocolate." I don't really want or need much of anything. I'd far rather give them something that makes their eyes light up, and their breath catch in their throats, and brings them absolute delight. That's a better gift than a million dollar gift card.

With all that said, I've been spending a little extra time in my van doing a few extra errands. For me, that means some deep thinking and intense prayer time. I can pray out loud, and if (read "when") I start to cry, I can pull over for a few minutes, and sob without freaking out my family. Last night was one of those times. I have my own personal battles to face, and last night I took time to ask God a few hard questions. And in the darkness of my van, as I drove to a place to stop for a few minutes, I heard a still, quiet voice ask "What do you want from Me? What do you wish for your life?"

I honestly was stunned that I had no good answer. I mean I have thought about what three wishes I would share should a genie ever pop out of a lamp. But what to ask of God? Peace? Happiness? Money? The outcomes I wanted to the hard questions that I asked? But all of that seemed selfish and they all fell short of a good wish list to give the Almighty. My mind raced around characters in the Bible, and what their answer would be. 

And then Solomon's answer came to mind. He asked for WISDOM. Not riches, or knowledge, or love, or material goods, but WISDOM. And God granted his request. Solomon became wise, and rich, and loved, and blessed and blessed and blessed. Asking for Godly wisdom was the ultimate wish. If he received money, he knew how best to use it. If he was asked to settle a problem, he had the best answer, and he knew how to handle the talents and resources God provided.


So my request of the Most High, Creator of All? Please Lord, grant me Godly wisdom. Show me how to treat those who cross my path and show them your light. Show me what to do with my money. Help my heart to stay tender to your leading. And help be wise enough to be at peace with your will. 

Merry Christmas!

Teapotjan