Nothing-----I mean ----NO ONE Between My Soul and My Saviour

I dearly love my father. He lives with me, and my family. He will be eighty-eight years old on St. Patrick's day this year. I am his only child, and he still watches over me as fiercely as his did when I was little. He is my hero.

Dad with his favorite dessert,
banana pudding.

He was saved in his early thirties, not long before he married my mother, and about two years before 

I was born. My folks were learning Christians when I was born. And being in the south, and being in the Bible belt, they grew in the Lord through fundamentalist churches. Yes, that is possible. God works in spite of human failings and misinterpretations. And I grew up as a "born-again, KJV Bible-believing, rapture-expecting, in-church-every-time-the-doors-open, marching-in-the-Lord's army, no-pants-wearing, no-cartoon-watching-or-unecessary-work-on-Sunday, don't-question-the

Shook his sweaty hand so much
his ring would fly off and hit
someone. Saw it firsthand.

'man of God,' independent Baptist, daughter-of-the-church-pianist, treasurer, deacon and adult Sunday school class teacher and his lady-fellowship-speaking, sing-in-the-choir, teach-the-little-kids Sunday school teacher." Can I get an amen? (At this point, if I were one of my old pastors, I'd wipe my brow with a large handkerchief and take a sip of water from the cup that one of the deacons had hidden in the pulpit). 

That being said, my dad is a loving and kind man. While he was, and is, part of the fundamentalist camp, his walk with the Lord has always been tempered with love. But even now, I see some of that old learning creeping into our conversations.

Today, we were talking about what the Bible actually says about the fate of those who do not choose God's gift of eternal life. I told him that I had been putting a lot of deep thought and study into it and had come to my own conclusions. That conclusion was contrary to the idea of eternal suffering and pain that we had always been told was a solid tenet based on Scripture. I gave several verses, peppered with a few greek word translations, and he listened intently. When I was done, he looked at me and asked, "did someone tell you this and you are buying into what they say?" I told him that to the contrary, this was my own study and my own interpretation of what I had read. And then it happened. My father shook his head and said "Deep thinking is a tool of Satan."

NO, NO, NO!

It all came back in a sweeping flood of doubt and confusion, a feeling that I should not have questioned what I had always been taught. That I should take some preacher man's word for what I believed. I'm a woman after all and I should be submis. . . . wait. The flood halted.

My conclusion did not contradict Scripture. It didn't change that we need to witness and bring all into God's grace that we can. It only changed another person's interpretation of Scripture that isn't as set as I was led to believe. That's all.

 And I stand before God as myself redeemed by Christ's sacrifice. He is my only advocate to God. Not my husband. Not a preacher. Not any other human. Me. Janet, deep-thinker and servant of God. No one between.

Teapotjan,

Beloved of God, and 

child of the King

"Better than I deserve"

How many times have you asked a good man or woman how they are and received the answer: "Better than I deserve!" My initial reaction the first time I heard it was to smile, and think "What a lovely, humble answer." And I don't really mind it now, except that in some ways I do. . . 

I understand what it means. We don't deserve to enter Heaven's gates. We don't deserve God's grace and mercy. Got it. Truly. I humbly admit that I am a sinner who can never,ever live up to God's holy standard. I fail at it every day.

But do we "deserve" to be miserable, in ill health, and in poverty on this earth as opposed to being happy, healthy, and employed? Is that God's plan for His children? In His word, does He say that we are to be less than happy? We suffer from the effects of the Fall and from sin entering creation, but does that lessen or diminish what we deserve?

Recently, since I am still on this journey from guilt to grace, I started pondering that saying.

There are over eighty verses in the Bible concerning "joy"and a dozen or more concerning "prosperity." Third John 1:2 says "Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth." John writes to those he teaches and leads about prospering in life, health, and in Christ. 

"So," you say, "what's your point, Teapot?" Well, here goes. . . Those of us who grew up in big "F" Fundamentalism spent most of our lives being told we were nothing, pitiful, awful beings, unworthy of love, unworthy of happiness, scum fit only to be scraped off the shoes of the Almighty. Being so lowly, any happiness that we enjoyed was "more than we deserve." I can't tell you how many services I left feeling useless and completely unworthy to serve God. 

Maybe some of my fellow churchgoers were driven to service by those hopeless words, but I found them discouraging and belittling to my self image and my worth in Christ. I mean if I'm so lowly, what good am I and why would God want me to serve Him? I already struggled with a low self image, and the knowledge that I didn't really fit in to most places, and I was constantly told by men I respected that I was bad, bad, bad. I have to tell you that did not help stave off the depression!

But I live under Grace now. I realize that God thought me worthy enough to send His Son to die for me. He endowed me with certain talents, and a certain personality. He made me unique. He loves and cherishes ME. If us mere humans take that much trouble for someone we want them to prosper and be happy-correct? Then how much more does a perfect and loving God want for us?  

I'm not teaching a prosperity Gospel. I don't think that serving God equals riches and goods like some well-know television preachers preach. I do firmly believe that He wants us to enjoy our time on the earth He created. He makes the everyday things like sunsets and sunrises extraordinarily beautiful.Our toddlers smile and gurgle like angels. He allowed us to invent ways to consume chocolate, and steak, and potatoes, and ice cream. We live in an imperfect world because of sin, but He has still provided a universe of beauty, pleasure, and happiness.


So, if you ask me how am I, I'll be thinking: "I'm blessed and enjoying what God has provided for me. I hope I can get more! He loves me and He wants the very best for me!" But, since that reply usually gets me strange looks, I'll probably say "I'm doing okay!"

Living a prosperous life,

Teapotjan

The Teapot's Wish List

We've hit Christmas time. It came quickly this year. November flew by as I was working on my master's class, doing early shopping, working, and planning for the holidays. It's that time when I ask, and am asked "What do you want? Do you have your wish list? No, really, what do you need?"

Well, I'm at a point in my life where I have a lot of things, too many actually. And the material things that I might want or need are related to home improvement or vehicle upgrades. In other words, stuff way too high priced for a typical wish list. So I usually mumble something like "iTunes gift card" or "candles" or "chocolate." I don't really want or need much of anything. I'd far rather give them something that makes their eyes light up, and their breath catch in their throats, and brings them absolute delight. That's a better gift than a million dollar gift card.

With all that said, I've been spending a little extra time in my van doing a few extra errands. For me, that means some deep thinking and intense prayer time. I can pray out loud, and if (read "when") I start to cry, I can pull over for a few minutes, and sob without freaking out my family. Last night was one of those times. I have my own personal battles to face, and last night I took time to ask God a few hard questions. And in the darkness of my van, as I drove to a place to stop for a few minutes, I heard a still, quiet voice ask "What do you want from Me? What do you wish for your life?"

I honestly was stunned that I had no good answer. I mean I have thought about what three wishes I would share should a genie ever pop out of a lamp. But what to ask of God? Peace? Happiness? Money? The outcomes I wanted to the hard questions that I asked? But all of that seemed selfish and they all fell short of a good wish list to give the Almighty. My mind raced around characters in the Bible, and what their answer would be. 

And then Solomon's answer came to mind. He asked for WISDOM. Not riches, or knowledge, or love, or material goods, but WISDOM. And God granted his request. Solomon became wise, and rich, and loved, and blessed and blessed and blessed. Asking for Godly wisdom was the ultimate wish. If he received money, he knew how best to use it. If he was asked to settle a problem, he had the best answer, and he knew how to handle the talents and resources God provided.


So my request of the Most High, Creator of All? Please Lord, grant me Godly wisdom. Show me how to treat those who cross my path and show them your light. Show me what to do with my money. Help my heart to stay tender to your leading. And help be wise enough to be at peace with your will. 

Merry Christmas!

Teapotjan

Picket Fences and Rainbows, Part Three

I enjoyed hearing from a few of you concerning things you believed made you a "good Christian." Some of your comments made me laugh, and others brought back some pretty strong and ugly memories. On the light side, many of you share my extreme dislike of hose and culottes. But one of the most hurtful things I heard concerned the treatment of women.

One reader wrote: "How about women are to be seen and not heard? Or women should never question a man in authority, pastor, husband, Sunday school teacher....ANY MAN for that matter! Obey and never ask why!!" In some families, this applied to any male in the family over the age of twelve! And in many, many churches, women could not prayer or read scripture if a male was in the audience. This puzzles me because God treats each of us as His children, and the Holy Spirit dwells in all of us.

Suffice it to say that many of the things we did in the name of being a good Christian really messed with our thought patterns and attitudes. A friend shared an article on Facebook this morning pointing out some of the common issues. Here's the link: The Sad Twisted Truth About Conservative Christianity's Effect on the Mind. And the promise that all will be well if we were "good kids" and "rejoiced always" and "praised the Lord anyway" fell through and hit the depths of our heart with a sickening and resounding thud.

We grew up. And some marriages failed. And some of our children turned away from God. And bad things happened. Not just a few bad things, and not just little things, but huge life-altering, OH GOD, WHY? things, one on top of another. And the picket fences broke and the paint peeled, and cancer, and sickness and death happened, and debts came, and the rainbows hid behind dark clouds or ended in the yard of some awful low life that didn't deserve the blessing like you did. Why? Why? Why?

And then, the Holy Spirit gently reminds us of the good things that actually do come from the source that all those long sermons and empty promises of our childhood claimed to use but messed up: God's Living Word. 

I Corinthians 4:7-12 (ESV). 

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken;struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you.

Pleasing God has nothing to do with wearing hose, cutting hair, working ourselves silly, and going to church every Sunday. It has everything to do with His provision and grace. We suffer because we live in a sinful, imperfect world as sinful, imperfect people, where the effects of sin cause bad, imperfect terrible things to happen. But God, says that he fills these sinful, imperfect vessels or "jars of clay" with treasure. Showing that He gives us the good things, and that we can not earn them. It's just Him. That's all. Period. 

So, where are our picket fences and rainbows? In I Corinthians 4, we read in verses 16 through 18:

Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

Our picket fences and rainbows come on this earth in the smile of a friend, the warmth of a child's hug, and for me-chocolate. 
But our eternal "picket fences and rainbows" wait ahead in Heaven, where all our struggles and worries will seem as silly and transient as the tears of a toddler crying over a perceived injustice. 

We have just a short time here in this imperfect, sinful, temporary world. Our destination is perfect, timeless, and forever! What now seems so monumental and virtually unbearable (and it is as long as we are here) will dissipate. Glory is ahead. We shall see Him! We won't even need picket fences, and the rainbows will circle the throne of God! 

That's a wonderful promise, something to really hold on to take us through these awful times. Heaven is waiting! 

Looking ahead!

Teapotjan

Picket Fences and Rainbows, Part Two

As mentioned in the first part of "Picket Fences and Rainbows" I've been walking down some of the darker paths of my memories. There's been some sorting and categorizing, and a lot of pondering this week. I apparently touched a nerve with many, and I think I'll poke a few more this week.

Looking back at many of the things I thought I HAD to do in order to be a good Christian this week, I've been angry, guilty, sad, and giggly. Here's some of the things I recall, and I'd love to hear from you and some of your "had-tos." These are not universally from all fundamental churches and schools, but these are some of the things that I have heard or experienced in my fifty-three years.

1. House must be clean at all times in case company came over in order to not have a bad testimony. Yes, I heard this preached from a pulpit more than once.

2. Dresses, and skirts all of the time for us gals. If you were wearing pants around the house, and company came over, you changed while someone appropriately dressed answered the door.

3. Church attendance "every time the doors opened" unless you were dead, in the hospital, or dead. I have to confess that as a teen I found church very, very boring, but I went anyways because I had to.

4. Clothes that didn't "cup" any body part, even a little. I seriously heard one very embarrassed lady speaker say that we really shouldn't appear to have round breasts or hips. 

5. Don't question God's anointed, meaning only the pastor or evangelist or missionary that preached. And I have so many things that wished I had questioned back in those days.

6. At one point, no wire rim glasses for men because that's what "hippies like Jon Lennon wore."

7. From another preacher, around the same time, no big, plastic glass frames because of that "Elton" rock musician.

8. One terrible piece of women's clothing: hose. I personally believe that panty hose were invented by a very angry man who hated women and his lecherous brother who was secretly a "leg man."

9. No current secular music, at all. It should be at least a decade old, and then listen only if it fit the approved style, beat, words, etc.

10. God's anointed apparently required much nicer cars than a lay person because they drove so much. (This one really gets me, when I realize that many usually sent deacons, and junior pastors to do the visiting).

11. Door to door witnessing and visitation. I can't say that this was entirely bad, but saying that everyone should be ashamed if they didn't do this on a regular basis? What about family life?

12. Leading at least one soul to Christ a year, preferably one a month or more.

13. Remembering the exact date and time and place and outfit and every detail about when you were saved.

14. 1611 KING JAMES VERSION. I am still hearing preachers on the radio say that if you were not saved through the KJV, then you should question your salvation. I. AM. NOT. MAKING. THIS. UP. Pretty sad for all those non-english speaking folks, am I right?

15. And suits and ties for the men, the male equivalent of wearing hose. Every service, every visitation, every speaking engagement except at a Christian camp when jeans became temporarily acceptable.

16. Speaking of jeans--just no. Not for women-ever, and most men-unless they were needed at work. Denim was for work, and any time else-the Devil.

17. NO pre-recorded sound tracks for special music. They were worldly, and the beat was "the Devil's music."

18. Just one word: Culottes.

19. I would say that we were told to avoid gay people, but honestly I didn't know or hear much about them except from sermons about some awful place that they all apparently ran around naked having constant "illicit, unnatural relations and abominations."

20. Worldliness. We could never be "worldly." That included everything from using a current word like "groovy" (Handle it. I'm a child of the sixties.) to the styles that we wore. Example? Maxi skirts were banned at my high school because it was the current trend. 

I know some of my comments are rather tongue in cheek, but this list contains actual things from sermons, and rules I have heard, and followed all in the name of being a good Christian. These seem very shallow now, but I believed they were necessary back then. Thank God for growth, and wisdom and Grace.

Share some of yours, if you will. I'd love to see what we have in common. Next post, we'll do a little bit more traveling in the dark, and then come the rainbows!

Serve God. Love others.

Teapotjan