Picket Fences and Rainbows, Part Three

I enjoyed hearing from a few of you concerning things you believed made you a "good Christian." Some of your comments made me laugh, and others brought back some pretty strong and ugly memories. On the light side, many of you share my extreme dislike of hose and culottes. But one of the most hurtful things I heard concerned the treatment of women.

One reader wrote: "How about women are to be seen and not heard? Or women should never question a man in authority, pastor, husband, Sunday school teacher....ANY MAN for that matter! Obey and never ask why!!" In some families, this applied to any male in the family over the age of twelve! And in many, many churches, women could not prayer or read scripture if a male was in the audience. This puzzles me because God treats each of us as His children, and the Holy Spirit dwells in all of us.

Suffice it to say that many of the things we did in the name of being a good Christian really messed with our thought patterns and attitudes. A friend shared an article on Facebook this morning pointing out some of the common issues. Here's the link: The Sad Twisted Truth About Conservative Christianity's Effect on the Mind. And the promise that all will be well if we were "good kids" and "rejoiced always" and "praised the Lord anyway" fell through and hit the depths of our heart with a sickening and resounding thud.

We grew up. And some marriages failed. And some of our children turned away from God. And bad things happened. Not just a few bad things, and not just little things, but huge life-altering, OH GOD, WHY? things, one on top of another. And the picket fences broke and the paint peeled, and cancer, and sickness and death happened, and debts came, and the rainbows hid behind dark clouds or ended in the yard of some awful low life that didn't deserve the blessing like you did. Why? Why? Why?

And then, the Holy Spirit gently reminds us of the good things that actually do come from the source that all those long sermons and empty promises of our childhood claimed to use but messed up: God's Living Word. 

I Corinthians 4:7-12 (ESV). 

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken;struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you.

Pleasing God has nothing to do with wearing hose, cutting hair, working ourselves silly, and going to church every Sunday. It has everything to do with His provision and grace. We suffer because we live in a sinful, imperfect world as sinful, imperfect people, where the effects of sin cause bad, imperfect terrible things to happen. But God, says that he fills these sinful, imperfect vessels or "jars of clay" with treasure. Showing that He gives us the good things, and that we can not earn them. It's just Him. That's all. Period. 

So, where are our picket fences and rainbows? In I Corinthians 4, we read in verses 16 through 18:

Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

Our picket fences and rainbows come on this earth in the smile of a friend, the warmth of a child's hug, and for me-chocolate. 
But our eternal "picket fences and rainbows" wait ahead in Heaven, where all our struggles and worries will seem as silly and transient as the tears of a toddler crying over a perceived injustice. 

We have just a short time here in this imperfect, sinful, temporary world. Our destination is perfect, timeless, and forever! What now seems so monumental and virtually unbearable (and it is as long as we are here) will dissipate. Glory is ahead. We shall see Him! We won't even need picket fences, and the rainbows will circle the throne of God! 

That's a wonderful promise, something to really hold on to take us through these awful times. Heaven is waiting! 

Looking ahead!

Teapotjan

Teapot's Tremendous, Terrible Year in Review. Part One

I'm not one for New Year's resolutions, but I do believe in goals. Not that I'm good at setting them, but I think they are important. Seriously. Maybe I show set a goal of improving my method of setting goals, but . . . .

Anyway, I do plan on blogging more consistently, even in the face of upheaval and change. Blogging helps the tempest in the teapot not grow to hurricane proportions, and maybe I can continue to help and bless people as I go.

Onward to the year in review! 
2013 contained a lot of happiness, disappointments, and general suckiness. I'm thrilled to kiss it goodbye soon. But, even while I go through its last days and think back, there isn't much I would change. That's hard to say really, but I wouldn't have learned the lessons I have learned, met the people I met, and grown the way I have grown without some of that said suckiness. 

January started out pretty well. But we had to pull my daughter from regular school because of her chronic nerve disorder. She missed her friends. She still hurt. She hates doctors appointments. And we learned that we are TERRIBLE at homeschooling. Remember that whole goal setting problem I have?. . . well apparently, it's genetic. 

February held its own challenges at work. My supervisor did not think I was doing my job well, so it was requested that I go to three weeks of classes about 2 hours aways from home. I enjoyed the classes. Made some very good friends, and did well in all of my scores. One of the connections I made allowed me to help with a project that brought me great satisfaction. What those classes did not help was the view that my supervisor had of my job performance.

March. I was disliking the long hours at work, and the seemingly endless things I was doing wrong. I was growing more and more depressed and working harder and harder, but I believe I was attempting this in my own strength. After a particularly candid visit with a friend I starting blogging at her suggestion that it would help. She was right.

April. Oh, sweet April. I posted my first blog entry in April. I've been reading back through some of those entries. I relived some of the emotions, and I bow my head and thank God that I have made it to the end of this year without any time in jail. I'm being facetious of course, but let's just say God and my family had to be patient. The number of issues I had at work seemed to decrease, but the strain of the hours, my daughter's pain, and an overcrowded house taught me some thing about myself that I didn't like. But God was good, and I grew closer to Him.

May marked my final month at my job. In spite of asking how to improve, and receiving satisfactory answers, etc. I still did not live up to my supervisor's expectations, and the month ended with me resigning that job at their request. If you know me even a little, you know I cried. My pride was hurt, and my wallet was suicidal. I know other things happened, but even now, that resignation overshadows my joy in anything in that month.

June brought relief in some areas and more stress in others. I was out of a job, but I enjoyed the free time to help others. I started trying to work on my art. My husband, baffled by my tears, confused by my complicated personality that had elevated me to delirious highs only to send me plummeting into aforementioned tears, worked to support my dream of becoming an artist and having a studio. But as hard as he tried, that old, suicidal wallet held back much of what he could do. However, as I will explain in the near future, God did not desert me or my family.

That's enough for one sitting. I have much more to share. Please pray that I will keep reaching for my current goal of consistent blogging. And if you have any comments or suggestions, please share either in the comments or by email, or on Facebook.

Thanks for reading. Stay tuned for part two. Spoiler alert! God is Still GREAT.

Looking back and looking up!
Teapotjan

Strong Tea, Strong Coffee, Strong Christian

Strong tea. Okay, I actually drink coffee more often, but the principle remains the same. The best tea or coffee has to go through some sort of process, usually involving heat, to become its best. It's the same for a Christian. In order to conform to Christ's image, we must go through processes that often involve things we don't enjoy.

How does these things fit into the journey from guilt to grace? Foremost, going through a trial does NOT always mean that you are doing something wrong. God will send trials at times to bring us back to him after we have wandered away from Him. He wants to restore fellowship with us. This chastening, or discipline, occurs to restore fellowship, not as payment.  When we repent, the whole issue is over. We should feel remorse at our sin, and strive not to repeat it. But even if we sin again (and we will), the depth of His forgiveness covers our sin. Wallowing in guilt over the situation will only hinder us from serving Him. I'm convinced that while remorse and repentance brings us closer to God, guilt serves Satan's purpose to cripple God's children. He desires that we live in grace, not fear and guilt.

Recently I encountered great conflict which still isn't completely resolved. My first reaction involved throwing up my hands, sobbing, declaring that I was pulling out of the situation entirely, and let the carnage lay where it fell. I didn't want to fight and I didn't want the pain. So THERE! Frankly, I don't enjoy conflict and trial. I believe that I will never be thankful for pain and anguish. You're probably never going to hear me say, "Praise God that hurt so badly and that I cried for days."

So, why is it necessary to go through trials if we don't have to like them? Why can't we sail to Heaven on flowery beds of ease? That would be my preference.  Like Daffy Duck, I'm not like other people: pain hurts me. But, the fact is humans learn more from trials than from success. We gain more compassion for others by going through pain. And we learn to trust in Him more when we cannot help ourselves. And the lessons learned and the trust gained helps us not only to grow more Christ-like, but strengthens us for future conflicts. 

How do conflicts help us? Often during a conflict we lose stuff that we just don't need. All things that grow need a good trim from time to time. Some of the things I have trimmed away (or lopped in some cases) during a trial include bitterness, judgmental attitudes, fear of the future, and self-doubt (not all of it, but some-I still have plenty-so I'm sure I'm not done with trials). 

In the meantime, I gained many things. In the midst of a terrible time, when nothing seems humanly possible, there stands no choice but to look to Him. Once we put our faith in Him and let Him handle the impossible, He faithfully delivers us, and we gain trust and confidence and peace. It's that peace in the tempest that I wrote about two days ago. I don't think there's a better feeling than knowing you can completely trust Him. And then later, when a friend faces a similar trial, we find new compassion for their needs and can be used by God to help them through the hard parts by sharing how faithful we found Him. We're more than we were when started, we're stronger and more refined.

Leaves picked, cleaned, crushed, dried, and steeped turn into soothing hot tea. Beans picked, roasted, ground, and brewed into steaming java glory. Christians tried, conflicted, refined, and conformed to Christ-likeness. Each better, stronger and more desired than at the start. It's all in the processing.