Serving When Sad-The Blue Teapot

Sad Teapot by Neiil Oswald.
 https://flic.kr/p/8scaVu

If you read many of my posts, or know me, you know that I am a professed victim of depression. I suffer from a mental illness that is as real as any physical disease. Anything or nothing can signal the black clouds to gather and darken overhead. And if something difficult happens while I'm under that black cloud, it is easy to allow it to surround me and choke out all light and joy. However, over the years, the Lord allowed me to learn the signs of the approaching gloom, and He sends comfort at just the right time to keep me from disappearing into that black, cold cloud.

That's not to say I don't have my bout of tears, sighs, and general mopiness. Believe me. Ask my family, my dog, my close friends, my therapist, my doctor. I get to a place where chocolate seems to be the only good thing in life, and I have none and I don't feel strong enough to get in the car and go get it. It can get bad. Real bad. And this short, stout little teapot of a woman can get very, very blue.

The most astounding thing about what the Lord has done for me in all of this? Even in my darkest blue state, when someone calls me for help, the clouds grow lighter, the blues fade, and I find myself being able to give that person sound advice that can come only from the leading of the Holy Spirit. This unworthy vessel can serve even when suffering because I have made it available for the Master's use. That's just wild. Really. Think about it. All I have to do is what I was made to do, be a vessel to His glory.

Am I always ready for use? Nope. I'm flawed. Sometimes, I do let the clouds choke me and fill me up with dread, shame and hopelessness. That's when depression easily leads to sin. Satan delights in tricking God's children, and he will use any weakness he can to pull us from the delight of God's presence. And since he is second in power only to God, he can do a very thorough job of it. Don't doubt that. He is evil, but he is very talented and creative.

So what to do? As I said earlier, I have learned the warning signs, some of which are particular to me, and when I heed them I do better. When I am hit with something particularly difficult? I understand that it's natural to be sad, and down, and understand it will pass as it has in the past. But I also know that I need to tell someone, and admit I'm struggling. There is no shame in asking for help. In fact, especially for those of us recovering from the "Big F Fundamentalism" mindset, it shows great bravery. We ask for help when we have the flu, don't we? If we ignore the symptoms of flu and carry on as normal, we may injure ourselves to the point of dying, all while infecting and hurting everyone we contact. The same potential is there when we suffer with depression and don't recognize its power to harm us and those around us.

If you think you may possibly suffer from depression, reach out for help. This link: Signs of Clinical Depression, sends you to WebMD's site and has a great deal of good information about the medical side of depression.

Serving when sad? It's possible as long as we listen to the leading of the Spirit, and realize that depression is an illness and process that we must recognize and handle with care in ourselves in others. 

Praising Him under the clouds and waiting for the sun,
Teapotjan

Blue Teapot under a Black Cloud

Well, the last couple of weeks have proven to be . . . interesting. . . and full of life's lessons. Often, I wish I could go ahead and learn everything I need to know so the lessons would end, but I don't think that's how it works. So, ONWARD!

My last post concerning medication brought up comments from several people in my email feed, and private messaging. The comment from "anonymous" stirred up people more that I would have thought. Please know that I was not upset. That person obviously cares enough to want to help, and I welcome opinions other than my own. Isn't that how we learn and grow? We exhort, we listen, we measure against God's standards, apply as appropriate and move forward.

That said, I believe that the kind person that left the comment has never experienced the type of depression I was addressing: clinical depression. In no way do I want to attack that person. I know many folks who feel the same way, and it those people I want to address.

Here is a link to an article discussing the difference between feeling sad due to circumstances and being perpetually depressed: Is it Depression or is it the Blues?. EVERYONE gets the blues. (Hmm, that should be a song or something). An accident, a severe loss, or a bad day, along with many other things can bring about a case of the blues. However, most people bounce back with the passage of time. The blues can lead to the type of depression the commenter was addressing, especially if we turn from God during difficult times, but it is not clinical depression. Even then, I don't think just putting on a smile, and acting happy will solve the entire issue, though it can help. Maybe today's society should not toss medication at everyone in a funk so quickly. I do see fault in that. If someone is bogged down with a case of the blues, and it hinders their service to God, they should get counseling from a reliable, biblically-based source. Medication can not fix a spiritual problem, but many use it as an excuse for sin. Satan will use any weakness to hinder us, and he won't hesitate to attack when we are down. In these cases, we must examine our attitude, and heart for God.

But there are millions that experience true, can't-get-it-to-stay-away, clinical depression. A blood test (and recently it has been discovered,a CAT scan of the brain) can confirm that an individual's depression is a physical condition needing medical treatment. I confess, that as I sit here and write these words, I am dealing with that black cloud hovering over my head. I sit here knowing that God is in control, knowing that He loves me, actively engaged in intercessory prayer for a few particular individuals, praising God for His creation, and pondering Scriptures recently read. But, I feel depressed, with a small side of hopelessness. However, since I know that I suffer from a medical condition, I can ignore the cloud while acknowledging its existence, and continue to serve God. 

My youngest suffers from a chronic nerve disorder that causes constant and often severe pain in one of her legs. If you see her, you will see no signs of trauma, and she doesn't appear to be in pain most of the time. She takes medication to help control the pain, but it is never truly gone. We have been to several doctors, and she has gone through many treatments. During that time she learned what medical condition caused the pain, and is now able to mostly ignore it while still having to acknowledge that it's there. Sound familiar? She could give in to the pain and let it run her life, but God allowed us to find doctors and medicines that could help her. She looks to Him for help, and she is a sweet, and faithful Christian. I am very proud of her. But her pain still persists. If we had not sought help and treatment, I think she would now be completely crippled from the pain.

Everyone feels sad or depressed from time to time. It's a natural response to adverse circumstances. During those times, we must look to God for grace realizing He controls all things. 

Other folks suffer from a medical condition known as "clinical depression." My hopes and goals in all of this?

1. To help those folks realize that they need assistance, and to encourage them to seek it without feeling embarrassed or ashamed. Once they know why it's there, they can learn to acknowledge and ignore their hovering dark cloud and carry on with life. 
2. To help others, like the commenter, to realize that not all depression is     equal. Believe me, telling a clinically depressed person to smile and act     happy is like telling someone with undiagnosed pain to "walk it off." The statement is well-intentioned, but it will cause more harm than good.
3. To use my experiences with my own depression to uplift others and point   them to the Great Healer. He allowed me to suffer with this condition in     order for me to honor Him with the lessons I've learned. I want to do that with all my heart.

No more guilt folks, only repentance. Those who fully understand His grace and love desire to serve and honor Him. He knew us from the edge of time, and He provides a way through the darkest of clouds, and the deepest of blues.

Happy Depression Sufferer, medicated, and still serving Him!
Teapotjan