The Face of "Abomination"

No matter what you believe about same sex attraction, and same sex marriage, listen to this young man's testimony, and see if you can still call homosexual desire an "abomination." We can all have our opinions, but perhaps, as Christians we should temper our words with compassion.

No one has ever been drawn to Christ by angry, hateful words, and attitude. But everyone who came to Christ ultimately came because of His love.

This young man is an SBC pastor's son. His struggle is obvious. His "abomination" is not.

This isn't about gay people parading around in the streets. This isn't about politics, and laws. This isn't about rainbows and unicorns and abominations. And it isn't about you. It's about souls spurning the Gospel because of hate filled Christians. It's about young Christians filled with self hate and loathing and having no where to go for help. It's about our real job: 

SERVE GOD, LOVE OTHERS

Prayers and blessings,

Teapotjan

I See You

You there. The victim of abuse. You, who finally scraped together enough courage to tell someone about what they did. How you felt. About your guilt and self-hate. Your bitterness toward that leader, that parent, that person who stood and watched and knew and said nothing. You, the disillusioned.

I saw the light of hope in your eyes when the "bastion" of your faith took what seemed a huge step toward your healing. I hoped with you. And I prayed. 

Then I saw. The headlines and the news. When I looked at you, I saw hurt, tears, pain, and fear. I cried with you. I felt sick.

And I heard you. You said that you weren't sure you could share your story again. Once was just shy of too much. I saw you. I saw the light of hope fade. Bless you. I see you.

And I pray. I pray that your stories will be heard, for your healing, and for the wisdom of those who hold the promise of hope in their meetings and words.

I know. I know that you hurt. I know that this is hard. But I also know that God is aware. 

He sees you.
He loves you.
And in spite of mistakes made by flawed people, 
He remains. Unchangeable. All Powerful. All Knowing.

See Him. He who created all, and sees each tear, and provides all peace. 

HE WILL DO WHAT IS RIGHT.

GRACE

The Angry, Prayerful Teapot

Lord, bless this post. I pray I don't make hasty judgements, and untrue statements. Be with those that hurt. May my words lift them up and glorify You. I stand by their needs and hope to 

Posts concerning abuse, GRACE, and Bob Jones University have flooded my Facebook wall, and their content has flooded my heart. When GRACE revealed that their investigation had been halted by officials at Bob Jones University just shy of the end of the process, I cried out in anger, sorrow, and disappointment. But before speaking, I waited to see what the University would do. But they haven't done anything but spin the whole matter, and that anger, sorrow, and disappointment still rage in my heart.

I don't know what GRACE has found. I know the names of only a few of the victims who spoke with them. But I know that as the news spread out across the internet, those victims were slapped in the face with the fact that a Christian institution valued protecting its own objectives over helping heal the pain of hurting individuals. 

That statement does not spring lightly from my lips. I loved the University at one point, and I appreciate the education I received there. I made great friends while attending and working there. Working in Public Safety, I saw people at their worst, and I was aware of some of the spin thought necessary to protect both the the University and the cause of Christ. When the GRACE investigation started I, like many, hailed it as a real changed in the thought process of the University administration. And perhaps it was. But as time passed, and the contents of the GRACE report loomed near, the old thought processes kicked in, and the excuses and spin began again. 

If those who make the decisions really cared about abuse victims, and did not fear what may be released, they would have informed the victims and the public in general of any problems BEFORE they fired GRACE. Doing otherwise, they have contributed to the climate of abuse as much, if not more, than if they had never started the investigation. I continue to feel this way even after reading all the links concerning ABWE, and many others. They responded badly-again. The University no longer has the luxury of releasing only the information they want. The information age is here, and when an institution fails to act in a forthright and transparent manner, it automatically brings suspicion down upon its own head.

This article came across my news feed this morning, and I feel that it covers the situation well. Please click The American Conservative to see the article.

If you want more information, message or email me, and I will send links to the sites with announcements from GRACE and BJU. The news has spread far, any many media outlets have taken up the story.

For those victims of abuse: I am praying for you. Be assured that in spite of the actions of flawed humans, the God who created all will do what is right and just. 

Disillusioned, but looking UP,
Teapotjan

That's Not Natural-The Torn Teapot, Part three

But now thus saith the LORD that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine.

Isaiah 43:1

At the end of the last post I shared that I had found a second, close friend had struggled with homosexuality their whole life. That realization along with the implications of the life they had lived in the decades I knew them washed over me in waves of fear, and pity, and doubt. The younger friend? I had seen that coming. This older, long-time friend--I hadn't guessed. But even while tears poured down my cheeks, and sleep eluded me, I knew these two people were devout Christians. I knew they were my true friends, and I knew that I loved them both deeply.

"Through thick and thin, that's me and my friend. 

No matter what. No matter where. No matter."

I requested that my family leave me to myself for a couple of days so that I could pray,read, and research. I found it difficult to sleep. I was consumed with the desire to understand how God wanted me to handle this. I read and reread all the so-called "clobber" verses that so many point to with this issue. And I had no answers. "I'm not gay!" "Why do I have to worry about this?" "Why did God do this and allow that?" "Why can't they just change?" and on and on the questions rose from my heart and soul and I threw them at God like an angry child. And God listened, loved, calmed, forgave, and taught.

Two days later, I came out of my retreat a better Christian with a greater understanding of what God had for me. Those friends had not changed from before they told me. I was the one who had changed. And my unchanging God had taught me several things, but here are the two biggest lessons.

Homosexual attraction is NOT a sin. There are no Bible verses that can be quoted or misconstrued to support the belief that it is. People can be attracted to their own gender and still be Godly, loving Christians. I won't back down on that point. There is much more to this whole matter I know. But we can build on this knowledge when dealing with those who struggle with this in their own lives, and in the lives of family members.

Next, the church must change how it deals with those Christians who struggle with homosexuality, and actually with the issue of homosexuality all together. But, in this series, I am specifically addressing my concerns toward treatment of homosexuals in the body of Christ. Isaiah 43:1, the verse at the top of this post states how God actually views ALL redeemed homosexuals, thieves, liars, murderers, and sinners in general. He didn't pick any one sin above the others and rate His love accordingly. To point out a problem to a Christian over and over and provide no help and no love leaves that Christian frustrated, depressed, bitter, and possibly suicidal. Any possible service they could have provided to the body of Christ and any testimony to His Grace could be lost. And the implications of that loss could be eternal.

Finally (not really, but at least for now), we need to provide a ministry to those dealing with homosexuality AND their families. I come from a background where any mention of this subject from a person would illicit bad jokes, teasing, and immediate shunning. I remember one instance now, where all of us self-righteous teens walked away from someone obviously struggling, clicking our tongues, rolling our eyes, and making false promises to pray. Yes, that person was gay. And that person had reached out for help. The help didn't come, but the shaming did. That person left our group of Christian friends because of the teasing. Bitterness followed, then depression. And a few years later, suicide. That person possessed great intelligence, talent, and a knowledge of God's word. But a lack of help and support extinguished any light they could have shone for Christ.

I'm sure that there are families out there who have children and siblings who have come out of the closet to them. They don't want their friends to know about their child. They are ashamed and worried. They also love their child but have no safe place to talk with anyone without fear of the same shunning. Not even a spouse or close friend. Dear soul, message me. I'll do my best to work with you and share some of my resources. And I promise ( I have references) that I will not disclose any names, numbers, or anything that you do not wish to share with others.

So, why after all of this am I the "Torn Teapot"? In the interest of being totally open, it's because I haven't figured it all out yet. I don't know if Christian homosexuals are or are not allowed to have loving, monogamous relationships. Personally, I have a struggle either way I think right now. But, it is not my place to judge other Christians. I cannot order their lives and convictions for them. I have to leave all of that to the individual and to the God that has redeemed them. I will not even attempt to begin to start to do the work of the Holy Spirit. NO WAY, NO HOW! I'm not interested in debating this one way or the other. I'm interested in being led by God when the matter affects me and those I love personally.

But I do know this, Christ left us with two commandments: love and serve God above all else, and love others as yourself. There is no clobbering in God's love, only discipline to guide us back to His way.

Below is a link to a book I found particularly helpful. This does not indicate my complete and utter approval of every word, but this author's story blessed my heart and God used it in my study.

Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate 

God has burdened my heart to help those struggling. I didn't ask for this, but I gladly give my service to Him who redeemed me! Pray for me. Pray for the my ministry. If you need help, please email or message me. If you want to debate. . . leave a comment and debate the other commenters.

Serve God, Love others.

Teapotjan

That's Not Natural-The Torn Teapot, Part two

God is so very good. The response to my last post both blesses and humbles me. Please know that I desire to be a mere vessel used in whichever way He chooses. And pray with me that I can continue to point people to Him with no glory in myself. Any good I do or say comes from Him.

As promised, this entry contains a rather personal story concerning how I started on this particular phase of my journey. Reviewing the events of the last few months, and seeing how God brought me to this place. He set my feet on a path long ago, before I even knew, and He assures me that I must proceed with prayer, tears, and newly opened eyes.

I've taken several IQ and personality tests through the years. They have shown me that God made me, among other things, intelligent, empathetic, curious, and friendly. My personality type makes friends easily, but limits the number of close friends to a very small number. So, when I make a close friend, and when I really trust someone, they are stuck with me like an octopus trying to open an oyster. Through thick and thin, that's me and my friend. No matter what. No matter where. No matter.

A few months ago, I was messaging with one of those close friends. He is currently deployed in Afghanistan. This friend is like a son. Truly. I can't imagine caring for him more if he were actual family. He worked as my assistant. He helped me in more ways than I can count. He taught me things, and he edified me. We cried together. We prayed together. We pointed each other to Christ. He encompassed what a life long friend should be. My family loves him as well, and he knows that he is always welcome at any time, day or night, to call, or come by, or eat, or whatever. He is incredibly special to me. 

I knew that he had struggled with some issues, but he rather cryptically brushed them aside, not wanting to burden me. I could only guess at what they were. But I prayed for him. At one rather dark point, he told me that he had contemplated suicide up to just shy of the actual act. He had not followed through because he had not wanted to disappoint or hurt me and the other few friends he held close. Whenever I think of that, I can't help but cry. It broke my heart. It still does. I don't like to think of how close he came. But as he just recently told me, it was the grace of God that stopped him.

A few months later he surprised me by signing up for the Army. Knowing him, I knew he would excel and become a great soldier, but my heart sank knowing

that it would pull him away. Of course, he sailed through boot camp, and found himself stationed in Texas. Some of the problems he had experienced before cropped up again, but this time I was aware that he was being harassed. He would not tell me why, but I knew he had contacted my husband, and that they had talked at great length. He had more than one battle to fight. And then, he was deployed.

We were able to see him before he left. The time was short, but precious. Of course, I cried when he left, that's part of this vessel's makeup as well. But,

we all claimed the promises that nothing happens to one of God's children that He does not allow and that no parting is eternal for us. Fortunately, we have been able to stay in contact due to the blessing of modern technology.

Most of our chats involved newsy type stuff. But some were like counseling sessions for both of us. Life in Afghanistan is rough. It's awful, and sandy, and wet, and dry, and hot, and cold, and loud, and too, too quiet. And there was more harassment. And then there was that one night before the holidays. . . he asked me if he could tell me something very important, and to promise that I would not be angry. My heart went up into my throat as I typed "of course." After a few more reassurances that nothing shy of him being a serial killer and even then we'd work it out, he typed "I'm gay." 

It wasn't like I hadn't suspected at least a tendency toward this in him, but it still hit my "raised in the deep south, independent-fundamental-baptist steeped" soul a little hard. He went on to say that he hadn't wanted to tell me,

because he thought he might lose our friendship. Those words struck through me like an arrow. This amazing, talented, young man whom I love like my own son thought he would lose me because he found himself attracted to his own gender. What could I say to that?

Then the story of why he had been harassed poured out. His typed words came through almost quicker that my tear-blurred eyes could read. His family was shocked. Some of his fellow soldiers, and even some of his leaders had mocked him and would not march or work with him. He had to file harassment charges and transfer to another company while in Texas. And yet, he still strived to be the best army soldier possible and was very close to succeeding. He did not want this to bring any shame to Christ.

And then finally, as if this were not enough, he told me "If there was a pill I could take to change this attraction, I would take a hundred every day. No one would choose this. It's awful, but it is who I am." And that is when God changed my heart, and opened my eyes. I knew I could assure him that I still truly loved him, and that a new part of my journey from guilt to grace had started. I saw those dealing with homosexuality in a new way, not through the eyes of a condemning church, but through the eyes of a loving and gentle Christ.

That suicide crisis before he joined the army? At that point he could not reconcile what he felt and what he had been taught all of his life. If same gender attraction was a sin no matter if acted on it or not, then he had been created imperfect and flawed with no hope of Heaven, and no hope of love, and no hope of acceptance in his family, or most of his friends. He saw himself as the bane of Christianity, and he lost sight of what God could do, because at that point the only God he could see was the one who condemned him. He could see only the God portrayed in many churches. The one that condemned homosexuality above all other sins and destroyed entire cities due to their homosexual population. And no matter how hard he prayed, and no matter how many counselors he saw, he still felt attracted to men.

We continued to chat for a while longer. I assured him of my prayers, and my continued love and friendship. And because life moves on, he had duties to attend to, and I needed to . . . explode.  I was drained, and tearful, and I needed someone to listen. So, I messaged another one of my very close friends. Through the years, this friend had brought me closer to the Lord than years of Christian education and church attendance had ever done. This person challenged me daily to press toward the high mark of serving Christ. This person scolded me when I needed it, and prayed for me. This person could not be a better friend. And when I revealed my other friend was gay, this person said they understood completely because they had walked the same path their entire life. 

In my next post, I'll finish this story. Pray with me that we seek His face in prayer concerning what we are to do to help and be help by those Christians who deal with homosexuality.

One step closer to full Grace and Glory,

Teapotjan