Picket Fences and Rainbows, Part Two

As mentioned in the first part of "Picket Fences and Rainbows" I've been walking down some of the darker paths of my memories. There's been some sorting and categorizing, and a lot of pondering this week. I apparently touched a nerve with many, and I think I'll poke a few more this week.

Looking back at many of the things I thought I HAD to do in order to be a good Christian this week, I've been angry, guilty, sad, and giggly. Here's some of the things I recall, and I'd love to hear from you and some of your "had-tos." These are not universally from all fundamental churches and schools, but these are some of the things that I have heard or experienced in my fifty-three years.

1. House must be clean at all times in case company came over in order to not have a bad testimony. Yes, I heard this preached from a pulpit more than once.

2. Dresses, and skirts all of the time for us gals. If you were wearing pants around the house, and company came over, you changed while someone appropriately dressed answered the door.

3. Church attendance "every time the doors opened" unless you were dead, in the hospital, or dead. I have to confess that as a teen I found church very, very boring, but I went anyways because I had to.

4. Clothes that didn't "cup" any body part, even a little. I seriously heard one very embarrassed lady speaker say that we really shouldn't appear to have round breasts or hips. 

5. Don't question God's anointed, meaning only the pastor or evangelist or missionary that preached. And I have so many things that wished I had questioned back in those days.

6. At one point, no wire rim glasses for men because that's what "hippies like Jon Lennon wore."

7. From another preacher, around the same time, no big, plastic glass frames because of that "Elton" rock musician.

8. One terrible piece of women's clothing: hose. I personally believe that panty hose were invented by a very angry man who hated women and his lecherous brother who was secretly a "leg man."

9. No current secular music, at all. It should be at least a decade old, and then listen only if it fit the approved style, beat, words, etc.

10. God's anointed apparently required much nicer cars than a lay person because they drove so much. (This one really gets me, when I realize that many usually sent deacons, and junior pastors to do the visiting).

11. Door to door witnessing and visitation. I can't say that this was entirely bad, but saying that everyone should be ashamed if they didn't do this on a regular basis? What about family life?

12. Leading at least one soul to Christ a year, preferably one a month or more.

13. Remembering the exact date and time and place and outfit and every detail about when you were saved.

14. 1611 KING JAMES VERSION. I am still hearing preachers on the radio say that if you were not saved through the KJV, then you should question your salvation. I. AM. NOT. MAKING. THIS. UP. Pretty sad for all those non-english speaking folks, am I right?

15. And suits and ties for the men, the male equivalent of wearing hose. Every service, every visitation, every speaking engagement except at a Christian camp when jeans became temporarily acceptable.

16. Speaking of jeans--just no. Not for women-ever, and most men-unless they were needed at work. Denim was for work, and any time else-the Devil.

17. NO pre-recorded sound tracks for special music. They were worldly, and the beat was "the Devil's music."

18. Just one word: Culottes.

19. I would say that we were told to avoid gay people, but honestly I didn't know or hear much about them except from sermons about some awful place that they all apparently ran around naked having constant "illicit, unnatural relations and abominations."

20. Worldliness. We could never be "worldly." That included everything from using a current word like "groovy" (Handle it. I'm a child of the sixties.) to the styles that we wore. Example? Maxi skirts were banned at my high school because it was the current trend. 

I know some of my comments are rather tongue in cheek, but this list contains actual things from sermons, and rules I have heard, and followed all in the name of being a good Christian. These seem very shallow now, but I believed they were necessary back then. Thank God for growth, and wisdom and Grace.

Share some of yours, if you will. I'd love to see what we have in common. Next post, we'll do a little bit more traveling in the dark, and then come the rainbows!

Serve God. Love others.

Teapotjan

Picket Fences and Rainbows

Meeting up with friends recently threw me into a particularly nostalgic mood. As is the usual case with this mind God gave me, that brings up both good and bad memories.

I'm very thankful for long time friends. God uses our shared experiences to remind us of His faithfulness during the difficult times, and His provision during the lean times. Sweet fellowship, tears, shared blessings and burdens renew our spirits for the journey ahead, and remind us of our purpose to serve Christ. These memories, precious and rare, are gifts.

And then, when the warmth of that sweet fellowship begins to fade, my mind (bless its heart) goes meandering down some of the darker paths in my past. But I've learned that those darker memories sometimes can also be a blessing in a different way.

Growing up in a very fundamental background, I followed the rules. I was the good girl. The example. The one church leaders pointed to and said "Ask her to help, she'll be glad to do whatever."

And they were right. I was dependable, hard-working, smart, and willing. I kept the nursery. I taught Sunday School. I sang solos when asked. I dressed modestly (no pants and always hose). I acted appropriately. Blushed accordingly, and I obeyed my parents, and respected my elders. My dad was a deacon, and church pianist. My mom taught Sunday school, and spoke in ladies's fellowship groups. In other words, we were a very good, church-going family. Indeed, we had two churches get their start in our living room.

I was saved at an early age. I am sure of that. God gave me assurance early and that has never been much of a personal struggle. My struggles come from a misperception rooted early in my life. The misperception that if I were the "good, go-to, I'll get right on that and work myself to death girl" that everything in life would turn out correctly. My spouse would be the love of my life. My children would be perfect and serve the Lord, and life will be easy-peasy, white picket fences, and rainbows.

All those high school chapel sermons said as much. If we did as we were told, and the guys grew to lead their homes, and the gals learned to submit to the guys, then God would bless us with sweet, obedient children and a Heaven on earth existence. Those families with problems like divorce, and drinking, and wayward children? They blew it badly somewhere, strayed and God had withdrawn His blessing. And we all knew that was pretty much the end of the world. One terrible thing, and that was it. Wasting away in the sea of sin until finally rescued by death or The Rapture, just barely saved by the skin of their teeth.

So, I went to weekend camps, threw my stick in the fire, and wept and prayed. I was always going to the altar at church to confess yet another weakness. And frankly, I felt being a Christian was really, really hard. Nevertheless, I continued on to attend a Christian University, and the teaching there was a little deeper, but the main point was the same. Do right, and life will be good. I followed the path set before me. Broke up with the guy that my parents didn't like, and married the guy that they did like. What in the world could go wrong?

In the next post, I'll continue down some of the dark paths of my memory, but not to worry, there are a few rainbows ahead.

Looking back to learn how to go forward,
Teapotjan