The Prodigal Teapot-Loving The Unlovable, Part One

We all want our children to fit into our perception of perfect. Some parents long for a sports star offspring, while others pray for a professional cellist, or a doctor, or a computer programmer. Many people I know wanted their children to fit into the mold of a perfect Christian. You know the kind: fit, thin, bright smile, mind of a genius, amazing musical talent in both voice and instrumental areas, kind, community-minded, leader of people, highly spiritual, but humble in spirit, well-spoken and good-looking. I've been there. I've had dreams of my children becoming wealthy and supporting me in my old age in the luxurious fashion to which I've never been accustomed. 

I've met a lot of people. I've watched a lot of people. I have seen parents and kids in harmony and in conflict. What I haven't seen is an actual, perfect Christian parent or child. Ever. Why? Could be because they don't exist anywhere, not in the "F"undamentalist camp, not in the Emerging Church camp, not anywhere, not no how.

Why am I dashing parent's dreams of a perfect child? Because, they aren't going to be perfect, and we still need to love and cherish them anyway. We also need to realize that we aren't going to be perfect parents, and accept it, and do our best and get past any guilt over past mistakes.

I'm pretty sure this will be a multi-post subject. There are so many aspects to cover in the relationship between parents and children that they can't all fit into one neat little blog entry. The Bible has a great deal to say about parents, and children to the point of God being Our Heavenly Father. It's no mistake that He speaks of us as His "children."

I have pondered and reviewed and sought for a story where a hard-nosed, inflexible, parent standing on Biblical principles, and sporting a "by-God-you'll-do-right-or-you're-no-child-of-mine" attitude ever brought a child back to the Savior. So far, I haven't found one. On the other hand, I have heard story after story of wayward children pushed away from their homes and treated with such contempt that even when they turned back to God, the relationship with their parents was irreparably damaged. 

If you have stories of reconciliation or stories of heartbreak that you would like to share, please feel free to email them to me or message me on Facebook. I will use nothing without permission, and I will not mention details here or in my own personal conversations. 

There will be more in the next few days, but in the hope that I will gather more information from some of you, I'll wait a couple of days before I continue with this subject.
Lord, make me more like You. Let me love my children and others and see them as You do. Thank you, Father, for loving me and taking me into your grace. Bless those who are struggling with their children and with their own guilt and failures. Thank you for your perfect mercy given to your imperfect children.

In His Love,
Teapotjan

Changing Out the Water- Brainwashing and the Christian

Last time, I exhorted readers to "question everything" and I still believe that. We have to examine what we believe and why we believe it for our selves: not because another person told us to believe it. But, I will add one caveat to that statement: If you question God, be prepared for some very strong answers! I have family members and friends who questioned all the beliefs from their childhood but did not seek the leading of the Holy Spirit. This may be because they have chosen not to listen, or because they are not saved and do not have the Spirit within them. Either way, it is a choice on their part, and because of God-given freewill, they must chose on their own.

There exists more books on Christian apologetics than I can think about without getting a headache. How Can I Know by Robert Jeffress is my current favorite. He asks and answers seven basic questions about God's existence and His Word. This book reads easily for a layman, and covers some very good points. Remember, these are the words of a man, but if you gauge them by the leading of the Holy Spirit, I believe you'll find good arguments for a strong belief in God.

From this basic understanding of God existence, move on to question the things you have been taught about living a holy life. Measure each teaching against God's word and seek a scripture that supports it. If you can't find a basis in scripture, it's a man-made belief. That doesn't necessarily mean that the teaching is wrong, but it does not define your walk with God. An example? The belief held by many conservatives that women should wear only skirts. Wearing skirts isn't a bad thing for women. But wearing a knee-length or longer skirt does NOT make a woman more Christ-like. Indeed, if she believes it does and looks down on those who do not dress the same, then she is not conforming to the image of Christ. Who's got the problem now? The praying, loving lady praising the Lord while wearing pants, or the pharisaical woman condemning another person based on clothing? 

Perhaps we should not be too hard on that disapproving lady. Why? Because many of us have been in the same place looking down upon those we feel less spiritual than us. And why do we do this? You may not like this answer, and you may need to sit down. . .  But many, many of us have been brainwashed. Yes, brainwashed by those who taught and preached to us and by those who taught and preached to them, and back to when one person decided that skirts were more acceptable in the eyes of God and that whatever did not exist in the Bubble must not be Godly and(start reading in a lofty, loud voice) woe be unto that lowly sinner, but for the grace of God there go I and . . . . It's almost an automatic response.

I don't want to admit that I lived a good portion of my life in a virtual cult. I don't like to think that many of the wonderful people that I know are still in a cult state of mind. And I am not going to blast any one denomination, place, or person by calling them cults or cult members. What I will do is post the definition of cult from the Merriam-Webster dictionary:

1 : a small religious group that is not part of a larger and more accepted religion and that has beliefs regarded by many people as extreme or dangerous 

2 : a situation in which people admire and care about something or someone very much or too much 

3 : a small group of very devoted supporters or fans 

4 formal : a system of religious beliefs and rituals 

By these definitions, most religions are cults. But what about the title of this entry up there? Brainwashing? You might want to sit down again. From Merrimam-Webster:

Brainwashing: a forcible indoctrination to induce someone to give up basic political, social, or religious beliefs and attitudes and to accept contrasting regimented ideas.

When I first realized this, I was horrified and in denial. How could I be part of a cult? How could I have allowed myself to be . . . brainwashed? After a while I realized that any strong teaching and learning can be classified as brainwashing, but it did make me review many of my beliefs.

In the next entry, I'll continue this line of thought, and see how it actually applies to those of us pulling out from big "F" Fundamentalism. I welcome any comments or questions. Again, I'm not one for huge, theological debates, so if you want to argue semantics or deep, deep theological thoughts I'm not your gal. I'm striving for a practical everyday application of Biblical truths for busy, practical people.

Meantime, below is a link from the blog of another lady who is going through a journey similar to mine. It is a fascinating read and the comments of her readers are thought provoking, and eye-opening.

Finding Faith After Spiritual Indoctrination

In His Grace,
Teapotjan

Teapot Trepidation

At times, my journey from guilt to grace has been so difficult, confusing and frightening that I almost turned back to the old, familiar ways of my world inside the bubble. There I could fall back on the teaching of men I had once respected, hang around with those of like faith and dress and talk and walk and desperately work to maintain the fragile integrity of my filmy cage.

But I can't, I just can't go back. The freedom I find in the light of His grace sits too sweetly on my lips. That light draws my eyes upward to Him and my eternal home making this world, especially the one in that bubble, dark and murky with guilt. This rich fellowship I enjoy with Him even in the midst of a storm of depression far outweighs the familiar and tedious tasks of working to be a good citizen of the bubble.

However, there is a scary side to this journey. Even while we begin to realize the full joy of His grace, we look around to see things that we once held as truth disappear into the murky abyss of our former guilt. Questions flood our minds and fill us with doubt.

What to do? First, realize that it is okay to question everything. When we question and find answers it solidifies what we believe. Why do we say the Bible is God's word? Why does God allow suffering? Did God really create the universe? Can we really know God's will or is it a guessing game? This first stage leaves us vulnerable and second guessing everything we believe. In my experience this was the scariest time. I was unsure of myself, unsure of my faith and . . . angry!

Anger? Yes. It seems to be the second stage of the process. How dare those preacher and teachers lead congregations to believe that embracing their own particular set of preferences led to being a good Christian! How dare the preacher say that having a dog in the house was sin and that working on Sunday was wrong while he ate out in restaurants after church! How dare they define how we live, vacation, entertain, dress, sing, etc. based on their interpretation of the Scriptures! How dare they take over the job of the Holy Spirit! How dare they preach and teach and say they love God and cheat on their spouses and act like sinful humans and carry on like it wasn't their fault! ARGH!

I still have many moments when this feeling wells up inside me as I come across yet another man made rule credited as doctrine, but I'm also learning how to handle it with God's help. God doesn't leave us in the midst of doubt and anger. In my next post, I'll discuss how to question without losing faith, and how to discern Biblical preference from man made reasoning.

Asking Him questions and receiving His answers,

Teapotjan

No Egg Shells in My Tea or on My Path

As I was chatting with a friend this morning, he mentioned a mutual acquaintance whose preaching had always been "cold and hard." And as I thought back to many of the sermons I heard, I realized that they fit that same description-cold and hard. Preachers listing sin after sin, pitfall after pitfall, painting a picture of our Savior sitting in Heaven constantly weeping over our failure to comply with God's standard of perfection. 

I felt as if the Christian life compared to walking on eggshells trying not to break any of them. Then, when one fragile shell met its doom forward progress stopped until we had repaired or replaced that shell, all the while trying not to break the ones where we were standing. It was sooooooo hard to be a good Christian all the time. But God is gooooood and He will deliver us from the eggshel. . . I mean sins. What kind of a joyous life can we live when that is our mindset? No wonder so many Christians looked like they just smelled rotten eggs. 

Guess what? If we have accepted Christ's gift of salvation we have already been delivered from our sins. It's a done deal. So our Christian pathway isn't littered with egg shells. Yes, we do need to be careful along our way to not veer off our path and stomp on the egg shells alongside us. But, no, we do not have to carefully tiptoe along so as not to upset our Creator. He wants us to keep our eyes on Him, and we can't do that if we have to look down and watch our step all the time. He's leading us and showing us the way. It's when we are not looking at Him that we'll be making scrambled eggs on the side of the road.

Life isn't easy for anyone. Christians and non-Christians alike suffer trials, and pitfalls, and terrible things. The difference? We have a God who leads us, and when we do crush an eggshell, He replaces for us as soon as we ask. 

I've come to the conclusion that the Christian life isn't a struggle. It's regular life that's a struggle. He told us that His burden is easy. So no more acting like walking on eggshells for me. I'll trust His guidance, and let His voice tell me when I have wandered off the path He has laid for my feet.

Skipping down the path!
Teapotjan

Drinking the Last Cup of Tea

A friend's adult son committed suicide yesterday, on Mother's Day. He possessed great musical talent, and sang with his family for decades on numerous cd's and radio broadcasts. My children knew his siblings and we listened to their tapes in the car on the way to and from school. Thousands of children and their parents listened to his family's music. His family has  impacted many and their testimony for the Lord shows them as faithful servants. We didn't agree on every point of Scripture, but our core beliefs are the same, and I always appreciated their ministry.

Now many will look to them again to see how they react in this worst of times. Will they declare that God has forsaken them? Will they be crippled with guilt and despair? Will they blame themselves and review everything nuance of their life with him? How can they get past the fact that their adult son turned his back on life and jumped into the arms of death? And I believe I know the answer to all of these.

In my tradition of transparency, I will admit that I have considered suicide a few times in my life. During one of those times, it didn't seem a selfish act. I felt that those around me would be less burdened without me, that somehow my death would solve several problems for several people, and that it would be my final gift to them. Another time, my thought process was completely selfish. I felt that everyone around me took me for granted, and that I could leave them behind to suffer, and I would go on to my reward in Heaven. So there.

None of those times did I come to the point of forming a complete plan, just a few random thoughts about what was at hand to complete the deed. By God's grace, each time that's where the process ended, and I can pull from my experience to help others. It is not where things end for some. 

Anytime I hear of a suicide, especially that of a Christian, my heart breaks for what they must have been suffering to lead them to that point. My thoughts and prayers go immediately to the family and friends of the victim. I lift them before the Lord and ask for peace and strength and wisdom for them. Some treat suicide and suicide attempts like a disease or stigma, and not like the cry for help that it is. That stigma and shame can cripple someone trying to recover from an attempt, or cause further damage to a family already frail from grief.

That leads me back to the questions about my friend's family. They have already made a statement that they are looking to God for help and grace. Since they are human, they will feel guilt and despair, but God will provide the grace they are praying for. They will certainly review what they could have done differently, they can't help it. But again, God gives grace and strength to handle the trials He allows. And they will be able to carry on because he testified to being a Christian, so they have the hope of seeing him again, and they know that he is now safe from the troubles and demons that plagued him.

Some may ask if a person who commits suicide can go to Heaven. Yes, they can. There is only one way to stay out of Heaven, and that is by rejecting Christ's gift of salvation. I have found no other "sin unto death." 

Suicide tragically ends a life. Whatever the reason, all suicide attempts involve a person with no hope and no joy. Speaking to Christians, if you have suicidal thoughts, please get past the stigma of shame and guilt and ask for help. If you suspect someone around you is considering suicide, tell someone that can help and begin to fervently pray. If you know a family rocked by the suicide of one of its members, pray for them and support them. Don't avoid them, but let them know that you care. Don't let the false stigma of suicide drive you away from them at a time when they need friends the most. And don't let that false, man-induced stigma keep you from getting help if you need it. 

Making Tea and Other Things

Just a short post tonight. 

I spent a good portion of the last two days I had off from work to make two robot figures for a friend. I truly enjoyed creating them, and I love how they turned out. They leave me tomorrow and I'm a little sad. Isn' that funny?

Making them reminded me of how some people have looked at me in the past when I told them how much I loved art and drama and classical music and collecting,etc. And when I would tell them that I took acting, drama and stage directing in college-that pretty much did me in as a useful person. Suddenly, I was one of those city-dwelling, Hollywood, tree-hugging types.

Though I do enjoy living conveniently close to town, I have no desire to act in Hollywood, and I haven't hugged a tree in years. But what I truly am is a creator, and I enjoy the work of other creators--read "artists."

The first act of God in the Bible is Creation. One look at the world He created reveals His love of beauty, and art. The entire planet sings His glory. The sky provides the perfect canvas for His breathtaking art at sunrise and sunset. The smallest flower shows His care for detail. And His creation of humankind in His own image calls for us to create as well.

So, write a poem. Paint a picture. Sing out loud. Balance accounts. Create a computer program. Cook a great meal. Whatever you can create, praise God with it and do it for His glory. Oh, and work at not looking at people with different creative talent than yours like they want to be city-dwelling, Hollywood, tree-huggers.

One of His creations,
Teapotjan

Teapot in the Tempest! Sink or Swim or Trust

Blah de blah de blah de blah. Last night with some warning I was hit with waves of depression. Not the nice gentle waves that can almost rock a body to sleep with their normalcy and familiarity, but big, crashing waves washing over me one after another. I should have known. People have been asking me for several days if everything was okay. I gave my usual "no, but yes" answer meaning that a few things were bothering me, but not enough to take me down. But then yesterday evening something triggered the storm and the waves began to crash down on me from every direction.

I'm not sure what the trigger or triggers were. Looking back over yesterday and the few days preceding, I have my suspicions. Any one of several things could have been the culprit, and all are legitimate troubles. All are worthy of prayer, and a few could cause downright hopelessness. But, I've come along way since first realizing I suffered from depression.

Today, I'm still down. I feel tired and restless. There's a faint ripple of hopelessness around me, but it's very faint. The waves have calmed, but the sky is still stormy, so I'm still on edge, concerned that another storm will come. But I am okay. Not great. I don't feel like skipping through fields singing with the Von Trapp children, or cooking, or anything. But I'm okay.

At one point earlier in my life, this would have made me feel terribly guilty. Did not all the preachers say that Christians should always be happy and cheerful and loving and singing and . . . how dare we be depressed when Christ died for our sins and we have an eternity in Heaven waiting where all the Christians will be happy and cheerful and loving and . . . whoopideedoopdeeday. Heaven isn't today. Today is hard. Life on this earth is hard. I don't always do the right thing and neither do those around me, so stupid exists here. Stupid makes life hard.

Am I sinning? Not by being depressed. I could easily though. I have the potential to let the waves drown me and wipe out any service I could do for the Lord. But, with the Lord's help, I'm not going to sink, I'm going to get out of this storm. And that's what makes the difference. You don't drown just by being in rough water.You can swim-for a while. But there finally comes a point when you give up fighting and either give in to the waves and drown, or reach out and get help. For a Christian, help is always available. My choice today is to reach for out for that help, to cry out to my Savior, and seek out comfort from the friends He has given me that understand and will pray for me. 

Like I said, I'm still down, but I'm not feeling guilty about it. God has reminded  me that their are calmer waters and clear skies ahead. Sink? Not today. Swim? Not that good at it. Trust? Yes, in my wonderful Lord.

Thank you, Lord, that you lift me out of the tempest and calm the storms of depression that rage around me. Thank you for the true friends you have provided that I know will pray for me and understand. Remind me, Lord, to pray for them when they are drowning in their own tempest. Help us to help others with encouraging words. Keep us from guilt, but bring us to repentance if we do give in to the waves.

Thank you, Lord!
Teapotjan

Someone Saying it Better Than Teapot

A Graduate of Northland Speaks about the Changes

My Take on Northland

Posted on May 7, 2013 by Bob Bixby

NOTE: Anybody can read this. Only those really interested in Northland should, although everybody’s welcome. But this post is for a particular target audience.

My alma mater is in a crisis. The cliché that crisis in Chinese is made up of two symbols combining danger and opportunity is not actually true, but it is true nonetheless that a crisis is often a jumbled concoction of opportunity with danger. This is where my alma mater stands.

The crisis is a combustible mixture of dire financial straits and ideological division. On Thursday, April 25, 2013, the president of NIU was summarily fired along with a few others in the administration. This sudden action by the board surprised many and put the faculty, staff, and student body that was largely loyal to the president and his direction in an emotional tailspin. But the dismissal was not necessarily without merit, though many would argue that it was unjust. Matt Olson and his team had been leading NIU on a dangerous journey from narrow fundamentalism to a broader and — in my view — more biblical understanding of Christian fellowship and association. This dangerous route from one narrow constituency to a new and broader constituency was fraught with difficulty and no man, no matter how genius his leadership, could possibly steer through the relational, philosophical, theological, and ideological minefield without something blowing up.

Something blew up. There were managerial mistakes.

And leadership has to own it. The board rightly thought that Dr. Olson and his team had failed in some areas and needed to bear the responsibility for the impending financial crisis and the increasing ire of a fundamentalist constituency. And so, with little warning and questionable process, they canned the president. That was Thursday, April 25.

When there is a void of leadership, leaders step up. Whether they are good or bad leaders is up for grabs, but anyone with any kind of leadership bone in him knows intuitively when there is a leadership void and cannot help but act upon his leadership instinct if he has any kind of interest whatsoever in the matter. There was a rush to fill the void. The cell phone companies love crises like these.

Boiled down, the crisis NIU is in is financial and directional. And it is the directional crisis that is the one that is most controversial and sensitive. Money matters are matters of math; you can either pay for it or you can’t. Directional issues, as in where is the leader taking us, are matters of conviction, theology, culture, tradition, relationships, and ideology. Those who did not like the direction that Dr. Olson had chosen were prepared with a plan to arrest the direction, return the school to its previous form of fundamentalism, and lock in on an ideology of secondary separation and movement-defined associations. (In other words, fundamentalism with a Independent Fundamental Baptist-MBBC-BJU flavor.) Within a week after the surprise firing of the president a candidate was proposed who was deeply entrenched in the network that is fundamentalism. He also happened to be the brother of one of the board members with credentials that would impress cronies, but not be able to stand against the scrutiny of serious examination by people with a mind to protect and rebuild the credibility of the university. He was also available because he didn’t have a job. A golden opportunity.

A quagmire of mixed messages ensued. Though the pretext for the sudden firing of the president was about one of management, the hasty proposal of an unqualified candidate deeply ensconced in a MBBC/BJU/IBC brotherhood was the clear signal of disfavor for the direction that Dr. Olson had taken. Was he being rebuked for his lack of business acumen or was he being given the boot because the direction was not acceptable? Was he being fired for sin with money or was he being relieved of duty for the sins of association? Or both?The faculty and administration along with the student body was in a state of confusion, but not in turmoil. Dr. Olson had displayed remarkable grace and poise in announcing his termination and the board had displayed Christian charity in allowing him to guide the students and staff by being the first to announce the news and setting the tone for a proper, biblical response. On Monday, April 29, Dr. Olson with grace and dignity publicly announced that he had been dismissed and pastorally set the tone for responding appropriately.

These are all brothers. And though there has been failure on all sides, the general timbre of tone has been one of humility. On all sides. In the providence of God I got to see some things from a real close perspective. I was scheduled to preach in chapel on Friday, May 3 and although there had been some suggestions by some on the other side of the argument over direction (the movement-fundemantalists) if I should be allowed to speak, I nonetheless was retained and I did not shirk to do what any leader would do; I made it clear which direction I thought was good for NIU. Thus, though entirely unexpected because I had been scheduled months before, I was able to walk around the campus and feel the atmosphere, speak to key players, pray with people, and shiver in the cold. Most of my conversation was with people directly related to the board, although I did get to spend quality time with Dr. Olson.  I appreciate both board and administration and I am impressed by the difficulty of their task. I was able to ask some very direct questions of both board and administration and was moved by the absence of rancor and the candid admission of uncomfortable facts. The board is a humble board and on Friday, May 3 they apologized to the faculty and staff for the process with a sweetness of disposition that brought tears to my eyes. They appealed to brothers and sisters to be patient because we(all of us who care) are in this together.

I do not know how all of this will resolve itself, but I am interested and invested as much as I can possibly be, praying and talking and praying and talking. If you care, do the same. We are all stewards of our influence.

Money aside, the struggle at my alma mater is about the heart and soul of the institution and the direction it has been going. NIU is making some decisions; decisions that they have put on the back burner as long as they can because decisions divide. As Tony Blair said, “to decide is to divide.” Every dad knows this. You’re in the car talking about where to go for lunch and no one can decide, although every one has suggestions and feelings and desires. Everybody says, “I don’t really care. Just choose something.” As soon as dad chooses, “What? Oh, groan! You ALWAYS want to go there.” And so forth. To decide is to divide.

Simplistically put, the division of feelings at NIU is about whether it should continue in the direction it has been going or return to the more narrow confines of movement-fundamentalism with stricter rules, one kind of music, and a much smaller pool of Christian leaders to draw from. You either like the direction away from fundamentalism or  you don’t.

But it’s more complicated than that. While many of us like the direction, we are not certain if we like NIU’s destination. I am one alumnus that will exert all my energy and limited influence to help NIU stay on the path that it has been following for the last 25 years and not return to fundamentalism. But whether or not I will lift a finger for NIU in the future remains to be seen. I, like many, wonder where NIU is going. Northland has not only got to decide if they are ready to leave fundamentalism, but they must decide if they are going to be conservative. The slippery slope argument is so effective in these kinds of things because people rightly remember institutions taking these same kinds of steps and then ending up in theological liberalism. Erroneously, they decide that the best argument against changes, therefore, is that changes are slippery slopes toward theological liberalism. This is fallacious reasoning and most critical and honest thinkers reject it. But it is true, nonetheless, that for a fundamentalist school to turn conservative it must make the same initial changes that are necessary if it wants to go liberal. Step one is to get unshackled from movement-fundamentalism and its network of leaders.

And I heartily endorse that step. Will that happen at NIU? This remains to be seen.

I would encourage my fellow alumni to consider two very basic principles as we watch our alma mater decide.

First, fundamentalism is not a guarantor of conservatism; freedom is. 

The hot topics surrounding changes from fundamentalism are often centered on cultural issues of dress and music and lifestyle. It is deeply believed that fundamentalism is a guarantor of conservative music, dress, and lifestyle. But this is a superficial belief not borne out by the evidence of history. Furthermore, to be conservative is impossible for someone who does not have the freedom to be liberal. One cannot brag about being thrifty and not spending money if one has no money; he’s just poor. Many fundamentalists are incensed by the claim of some that they are not gospel-centered, but they miss the point. We are not saying that they do not know the gospel, nor are we saying that all evangelicals are gospel-centered. We are not saying that we do not like conservatism in dress, music, and lifestyle. Nor are we merely talking about “the plan of salvation.” What we are saying is that the Good News of the whole counsel of God as revealed in His Word is the exclusive guardian of our radically free souls! If NIU as an institution is to be conservative, it must be free first.

J. Gresham Machen and John Murray and  others saw the dangers of movement-fundamentalism and tried to articulate a Christian conservatism that differentiated itself from the movement of fundamentalism. Machen’s classic work, Christianity vs. Liberalism, by the title alone, seems to be an effort to suggest that the alternative to liberalism was not just fundamentalism, but Christianity. Biblical Christianity was another alternative to movement-fundamentalism in response to liberalism, he tried to say. John Murray warned against the dangers inherent in setting standards of holiness as gauges of one’s Christian standing.

“Many … Christians today seek to impose standards of conduct and criteria of holiness that have no warrant from Scripture and that even in some cases cut athwart Scripture principles, precepts and example.  The adoption of extra-scriptural rules and regulations have sometimes been made to appear very necessary and even commendable.  But we must not judge according to the appearance but judge righteous judgment. Such impositions are an attack upon the sufficiency of Scripture and the holiness of God, for they subtly imply that the standard of holiness God had given us in His Word is not adequate and needs to be supplemented by our additions and importations. When properly analyzed this attitude of mind is gravely wicked.  It is an invasion upon our God-given liberty just because it is an invasion upon the sufficiency of the law of God, the perfect law of liberty.

It is therefore, appearances to the contrary, a thoroughly antinomian frame of mind.

It evinces a lamentable lack of jealousy for the perfection of Scripture and invariably, if not corrected and renounced, leads to an ethical losseness in the matter of express divine commands.

In the words of Professor R. B. Kuiper, ‘The man who today forbids what God allows, tomorrow will allow what God forbids.’”

~ John Murray

As an alumnus of NIU I firmly believe that the best hope of solid, conservative Gospel fidelity is for NIU to be free. And that is the direction it has pursued up to this point.  There are some expressions of their growing freedom that I personally object to, but they are not free to not do debatable things until they are free to do debatable things. A person is not free to be conservative with his money until he is free to spend money. One is not free to choose a more conservative music until he is free to choose a more contemporary music. What is done in freedom is the truest expression of who we are. And I believe that the amazing truth of the Gospel is that we have been set free. All things are lawful to us, though not all things are expedient. But we are not really free to make decisions of expediency on things that are forbidden.

I stand in strong support of NIU’s direction to this point because of the fact that fundamentalism is not a guarantor of conservatism. And I am conservative.

Second, fundamentalism is a movement of sub-movements  premised on the untenable doctrine of secondary separation that disproportionately emphasizes separation over the more-emphasized doctrine of the Body of Christ that is revealed in Scripture.

One important component of interpretation is to sense the mood and tenor of the author through his writings. The author’s emphasis is made increasingly clear by repetition, metaphor, and in many other overt and subtle ways. Without doubt, the emphasis of Scripture is that God looks down upon His Church as one people. It is clear that separation is taught and all Christians practice separation to a certain degree. We may argue about the wisdom of certain decisions pertaining to separation and fellowship. We may make mistakes. We may sin. But we cannot legalistically define exactly how that is supposed to look and work in any given context and wrest a few Scripture texts out of the context of the entire emphasis of the Bible to elevate our understanding of separation as the key distinction that separates us from the rest of the Body of Christ. This is sectarianism and that, according to Paul, is a fruit of the flesh. It will result in an extra-biblical categorization of who is in and who is out. And it is impossible to practice consistently despite the creation of a theory called secondary separation.

Secondary separation is wrangled over even by its most ardent practitioners. This past week I asked the board member who was leading the coup to replace Dr. Olson what his concept of secondary separation looked like and he hemmed and hawed, saying that there are “many ways to define it” and essentially gave me no answer. What the four of us heard in that non-answer is, “We’ll practice it the way my good ole-boys want it to be practiced.”

Fundamentalism, despite the best efforts of some very gifted men to say otherwise, is an ideological movement premised on the doctrine of secondary separation. One professor said that fundamentalism is a commendable idea. Whether he is right or not, is irrelevant to the reality that fundamentalism is now more than an idea, it is an ideology of separation that emphasizes secondary separation. Conservatism is an idea; fundamentalism is an ideology. And at the center of that ideology is a devotion to the practice of secondary separation.

No proponent of secondary separation has ever been able to practice it consistently and it has therefore always resulted in sectarianism and cronyism where sub-movements within the movement agree on which inconsistencies they will allow. And they will sniff disapprovingly of the other sub-movements with their alternate variations of secondary separation. Thus, for example,  one who has consistently harped that those who fellowship with Southern Baptists should be separated from because of the SBC’s associations with questionable things suddenly ignores this hard fast rule when his protege is both a professor in a SBC school and an elder in a SBC church even though the SBC is still rife with questionable associations. Most everyone in his collective of secondary-separationists take it in stride. It’s politics as usual. Secondary separation, for them, is an adjustable doctrine and malleable by the sheer influence of cronyism.

Northland International University needs to take a Gospel stand against secondary separation if it is ever going to be a solid, conservative school. If NIU is going to be faithful to the fundamentals of our faith and thrive in happy obedience to the full counsel of God in matters of life and practice, it must disentangle itself from fundamentalism. It must also take a practical business stand against cronyism if it is ever to enjoy the fruit of the larger Body of Christ and survive.

Where is NIU going? I am not sure. But I know that it’s direction has been rightly moving it away from the grip of movement-fundamentalism and I support that. Board, administration, alumni, and friends are humbly discussing and earnestly praying. We are not all in agreement on direction, but we are agreement in affection: we love Jesus and we love Northland.

Not all dangerous roads are bad. Perhaps the sleeping giant of NIU’s alumni will be aroused out of its disengagement and receive the institution that first pointed them to the glory of the larger Body of Christ even as long as 25 years ago. And perhaps NIU will find that this dangerous road has led them from the incubator of a movement to the warmth of real home.

And perhaps the danger of this moment will be its greatest opportunity.

Teapot and Abuse

Those who have been reading my blog know my concern for those who are victims of abuse, whether mental, physical, or sexual. Again, if you are a victim of abuse, there are people who will help you, you are not alone. Contact me or contact G.R. A. C. E for help. Don't suffer, and don't protect your abuser.

But, I want to look at another side of the abuse issue. Most of us have known or suspected someone of committing abuse at one time or another, and were hesitant to speak to anyone about it. Again, I think that contacting G.R.A.C.E. would be an excellent resource for learning what to do. My reasons for suggesting them are many, but I'd like to cover a major one today.

While I want to help any victim I possibly can, I do not want the reporting of abuse to turn into a "witch-hunt." In today's over-reactive environment, some families have been literally ripped apart by false accusations of abuse. Often, the issue is treated as guilty until proven innocent and all of the children and taken away and placed in foster care. While I'm sure the motivation behind this action started out as protection for the children, any family wrongly accused would be devastated. 

I cannot imagine the terror and anguish a loving mother and father face when their children are taken from them. I do not want to think how the separation could traumatise the children. Parents wrongly accused of abuse bear the burden of proof for their innocence, and they may have to spend money and use resources that will financially drain them for decades. Their reputations fall into question wherever they go. And many times the children suffer from anxiety from the fear of losing their parents again.

After a friend told me just a few scant details of their ordeal, I did a little research. Most of the families that had been wrongly separated due to false charges of abuse spent decades trying to recover, and probably never will until they reach Heaven's healing shores. I don't want this to happen to any loving, innocent parent or child anymore than I want individuals to suffer at the hands of an abuser.

So, what do we do if we suspect someone of abuse? First, temper your response with prayer and caution. Speak to a pastor or leader you trust. If they do not take action, then contact G.R.A.C.E. or a similar organization. They will provide careful counsel on how to handle the situation without ripping an innocent family apart or allowing true abuse to continue.

As always, pray. Thanks to those of you who have contacted me. I love it! I'm more than willing to talk and listen to your suggestions.

In Christ,
Teapotjan

It's Only Tea if it's Cold and Sweet

Tea--people around the world drink it in various forms. But whether it's iced, sweetened, frozen, boiled, steeped, unsweetened, hot, it's still at the basic level tea. We don't go and tell people that in order to drink tea it must be just the way we drink it. Nor, do we tell others that if they want to claim to be tea drinkers they must add lemon or they just aren't drinking tea. 

Believe it or not, it is along those lines that a friend's status this morning started me pondering another side of big "F" fundamentalism with which I have a love/hate relationship accompanied with some distress: Foreign Missions. 

Before anyone chokes or starts to light torches to come after me, let me explain the "hate" part. I hate that missionaries must struggle so hard and for so long to raise enough support to get to the field where they desire to minister. I also hate that many of those supporting a missionary will drop out in a year or so for financial reasons or lack of interest. There are a few other things I hate about the current missionary support system in America, but those are the two main ones and the others branch out from them.

The most distressing thing about "F"undamentalist missions is their propensity to westernize the Gospel. Please don't get me wrong, not all American missionaries do this. I know some amazing people with strong testimonies and a solid following for Christ in a foreign field. I'm concerned about those who take American, not Biblical, ideas and present them as part of the Gospel. Whether intentional or not, this can still hinder the cause of Christ. 

Remember, we can't expect the unsaved to act saved. We certainly can't expect unsaved people from other lands and cultures to act like saved Americans. I doubt a tired mother with several small children clinging to her in Pakistan cares about a particular Bible translation when she has never seen a copy of any Bible. And I doubt her husband would benefit more from a sermon by wearing a suit and tie. Nor would many of our favorite hymns and music mean anything to them. Is there anything wrong with suits, ties and American hymns? No, but their use can be inappropriate and ineffective and a hindrance to the Gospel.

What do I love about foreign missions? As I said, I know some amazing people who have gone into other countries and led people to the Lord. They worked at becoming part of the community and culture. They gained the trust and love of the people native to that area and showed them a Christ-like concern for their souls. Their work wasn't about a Bible translation, a clothing style, or a music type. It was about the people, their souls and the Gospel. These missionaries went on to effectively train native preachers and teachers to carry the Gospel to their own people. That's a precious thing. I love hearing about and knowing missionaries who have done this.What a blessed thing to know that we will fellowship with these believers from around the globe when we get to Heaven.
And although I haven't been called to a foreign mission field in body, I send my prayers and my support to those spreading the pure Gospel of Christ, and I am praying that I will be able to do more. 

Just like tea doesn't need lemon added to be tea. The pure and simple Gospel of Christ needs nothing else to bring souls to Christ. Pray for the missionaries you know are spreading the Gospel. Send as much monetary support as you can. If you are interested in helping native missionaries, contact me. Or, you can go to Faith for These Times. This foundation sends 100% of all monies received to aid in foreign missions with an emphasis on training and helping native preachers and teachers to reach their own people.

Teapot's Mama, Angels, and a Wonderful, Terrible Night

It's almost mother's day. I see the ads for businesses claiming they have the perfect gift for every mom. Roses, and aprons, and cards, and bowling balls, and gift certificates for oil changes and manicures are sure to please the lady who gave you life, wiped your nose, and taxied you about through snow, hail, wind, and rain. 

My mama succumbed to breast cancer in January of 1999 just a few days before her 65th birthday. The day of her funeral was warm and bright and I was happy that she was laid to rest in the shadow of the mountains where she was born. But I cried. My sweet mother was gone and I could no longer seek her counsel and love. She was out of pain, so my tears weren't for her, but for my own loss.

I look back on the time of her illness and can see the hand of the Lord at work many times. Today, I want to share some of what He did for our family in the days just prior to taking my mom home.

Mom's cancer had spread to her bones, liver, and lungs. Her three years of chemo prolonged her life, but she constantly suffered from intense pain, nausea, and difficulty breathing. Her sweet spirit drew the admiration and love from the nurses and doctor that cared for her. So, it came as a blow to them when she finally decided that she wanted no more treatment. We all knew this was a death sentence. The doctor said she had maybe six weeks to six months without any more treatment. My dad left her and me in the hospital to go home and prepare the house for the hospital bed and equipment needed to keep her comfortable under the care of Hospice personnel. She made this decision on a Friday, and her hospice care was to start on Monday.

That weekend, I spent Friday night and Saturday with her in the hospital. We talked about people we knew and family. She told me who she wanted to sing at her funeral, and chose the songs. I did her nails. And she made me promise to buy her a new outfit for her burial. I think she may have said something about haunting me if I didn't get something new, and to make sure her neck was covered with an attractive bow or scarf. We laughed and cried.That was just like her, and I promised.

I left her on Sunday morning to go home and rest. She asked me to stay, but I told her I had to get a little rest in order to help on Monday. She agreed, and I left her with a kiss and hug. Early Monday morning, I returned. The pastor's wife had spent Sunday night with her. When my dad and I walked into the room, the pastor's wife told us that it had not been a good night, and that mom wanted to see us right away. We both went to her, kissed her, and hugged her. She looked at each of us with her big, brown eyes and told us she loved us, and that she had been waiting for us to get back. Then she leaned back, closed her eyes, and went into a coma.

We sat with her through that day and into the night, singing her favorite songs, and talking about the things the Lord has shown us, and how faithful God had been. Tears sometimes flowed down her cheeks, but she didn't wake up. So we sat, and sang, and listened to the soft sound of the machine that helped her breath in the little air that she could. In the early hours of Tuesday morning, I felt a comforting presence behind my chair. I turned to look at the pastor's wife and thank her, but she was across the room. I felt it a few more times, and was about to mention it, when my husband asked why I kept brushing past him. My dad also turned around to look behind him and then back at me puzzled. Mom's breathing became more shallow. I leaned over and told her it was okay to go and that I would miss her, but we would all, see her again. Her face relaxed into a smile, and she drew her last breath. I knew then that the comforting presence must have been God's angels sent to take this sweet saint of a lady home to Heaven.

I still miss her today, everyday. I hear her voice come out of my mouth, and I see her expressions on the face of my children. I remember what she taught me, and how she prayed. I cry and the tears are for my own loss. I thrill to think what her big, brown eyes must see, even at this moment. And I praise the Lord that He allowed me to feel the presence of those angels on the most wonderful, and terrible night of my life.

I lost my mama, and Mama gained Heaven. If you don't have assurance that you will join us in Heaven, let me know. I'll be glad to share how you can know. If you are sure, look me up when we get there, and I'll introduce you to my mom. She's waiting for us and I bet her big, brown eyes are smiling.

Looking for His coming,
Teapotjan