The Times, They are A-Changing

Today I celebrate the third anniversary of my 49th birthday. While I don't enjoy the physical changes that age brings about, I do embrace the lessons that the years have brought my way. It would be nice to be 25 again, but only if I could take my current brain with me. I look back at the 25 year old me, and think about how clueless I was and shudder at some of the things I thought and did. I firmly believe that God brings circumstances good and bad to change us into His image, and since I've already done so much growing, I don't want to repeat those lessons that were difficult to learn.

Also, this past weekend, my oldest child moved into her own apartment. She's not very far away, but as any parent with older kids knows, it's not the same when a child pays their own electric bill. I'm sad and glad all at the same time. You know, all bittersweet and stuff. In addition, we placed a ridiculously low offer on a nearby duplex, and it was accepted! So, we are on our way to being landlords. This is something we had been trying to do for quite a while but things had not fallen into place. Then, suddenly during this time of change, the Lord provided financing, downpayment, and legal options that made the purchase possible. And today, my youngest child started a new online school, Connections Academy. How's that for a lot to happen in a week?

My last post, "Nice Guys Finish Last?," drew some interesting comments both here and in personal messaging. Please remember that my blog acts as an outlet, and hopefully as a help to those experiencing some of the same things. The people in the incident I mentioned are still dear to me, and I certainly forgive them. But to forget what happened would leave me vulnerable to repeating the mistake. Maybe that's a good subject for another post soon. 

So, that's it for now. As things begin to calm down, I'll post more. I have a lot I have been pondering and want to share, but the timing and the Spirit just have not met up just yet. 

Changing, and learning,
Teapotjan

Nice Guys Finish Last?

Being raised in a Christian home in the South by kind and loving parents formed me into what most people consider a "very nice person." God gave me the gift of empathy, and I love trying to help people try to live a happier life by supporting them and giving counsel when necessary.

This sounds great, doesn't it? "How Christ-like. How generous. How very nice you are," people tell me. I don't help people for praise or for anything in return. I do it because God gave me this gift and attitude and I want to serve Him by using it. At least that's what I like to think. 

The problem comes because most people are not nice. People in general are suspicious of those who are nice, thinking that they must have some hidden agenda that drives their actions. Even in Christian circles those who are incredibly helpful received the labels of "kiss-ups," "do-gooder," or "opportunist," among other things. The current generation of young adults has become so jaded by the "it's all about me" syndrome, that the help of others becomes an intrusion, or an insult to their individuality.

In the last few days, what started as a prayerful attempt to bring resolution to a situation between mutual acquaintances, and to find an answer to a pressing need in my own life and home, was labeled as a rude intrusion. And I found that my offer of help in the future would not be needed and they would seek a neutral party if the need should ever arise.

Because I had worked at being neutral, and had prayerfully initiated a meeting that I attended with great discomfort, I was flabbergasted! Actually, I still am. I had seen an issue. The issue affected people around me, my new business, and my home. I needed information, not gossip, or opinion, so I did what I know is right. I went to the source to get the information, and offered to mediate or help in the future. While I didn't get the answer I wanted, I honestly respected the person's decision, and consider it closed. 

The point of this post? To tell you that on this earth, nice people do finish last. At least in the perspective of the temporary. My initial reaction to this whole situation? I planned to NEVER help anyone but my very closest, most trusted friends again. Ever. Done with helping young people. Done with going out of my to help or offer assistance. Done dealing with the emotional baggage others carry. Done. Finished. Retired. Over it. Me, myself, and mine, that's it.

My feelings after a couple of days? I've learned my lesson: Nice people do finish last on this earth. They often get overlooked, walked on, questioned, and labeled. But when a "nice" person faces Christ and has their actions judged by the Savior, those things questioned by other people, but done in the name of Christ will endure the fires of judgement, and will indeed be the things that LAST. Those difficult tasks completed in the name of Christ become trophies to throw at His feet, and I'll take my LAST place in His light for eternity.

Will I still help people? Yes. Will I jump in as readily? Maybe not. In the last two years, I've been twice burned after two huge investments of time, money, and emotion. Can we learn from every situation? Yes, and it seems that we learn more from the bad ones. 

So, here I sit in last place, stinging, and hurt, but hopeful. Hopeful that I'll get to see resolution and growth in the people I help, and hopeful for His soon coming.

Looking to the finish line with hope and faith,

Teapotjan