A friend's adult son committed suicide yesterday, on Mother's Day. He possessed great musical talent, and sang with his family for decades on numerous cd's and radio broadcasts. My children knew his siblings and we listened to their tapes in the car on the way to and from school. Thousands of children and their parents listened to his family's music. His family has impacted many and their testimony for the Lord shows them as faithful servants. We didn't agree on every point of Scripture, but our core beliefs are the same, and I always appreciated their ministry.
Now many will look to them again to see how they react in this worst of times. Will they declare that God has forsaken them? Will they be crippled with guilt and despair? Will they blame themselves and review everything nuance of their life with him? How can they get past the fact that their adult son turned his back on life and jumped into the arms of death? And I believe I know the answer to all of these.
In my tradition of transparency, I will admit that I have considered suicide a few times in my life. During one of those times, it didn't seem a selfish act. I felt that those around me would be less burdened without me, that somehow my death would solve several problems for several people, and that it would be my final gift to them. Another time, my thought process was completely selfish. I felt that everyone around me took me for granted, and that I could leave them behind to suffer, and I would go on to my reward in Heaven. So there.
None of those times did I come to the point of forming a complete plan, just a few random thoughts about what was at hand to complete the deed. By God's grace, each time that's where the process ended, and I can pull from my experience to help others. It is not where things end for some.
Anytime I hear of a suicide, especially that of a Christian, my heart breaks for what they must have been suffering to lead them to that point. My thoughts and prayers go immediately to the family and friends of the victim. I lift them before the Lord and ask for peace and strength and wisdom for them. Some treat suicide and suicide attempts like a disease or stigma, and not like the cry for help that it is. That stigma and shame can cripple someone trying to recover from an attempt, or cause further damage to a family already frail from grief.
That leads me back to the questions about my friend's family. They have already made a statement that they are looking to God for help and grace. Since they are human, they will feel guilt and despair, but God will provide the grace they are praying for. They will certainly review what they could have done differently, they can't help it. But again, God gives grace and strength to handle the trials He allows. And they will be able to carry on because he testified to being a Christian, so they have the hope of seeing him again, and they know that he is now safe from the troubles and demons that plagued him.
Some may ask if a person who commits suicide can go to Heaven. Yes, they can. There is only one way to stay out of Heaven, and that is by rejecting Christ's gift of salvation. I have found no other "sin unto death."
Suicide tragically ends a life. Whatever the reason, all suicide attempts involve a person with no hope and no joy. Speaking to Christians, if you have suicidal thoughts, please get past the stigma of shame and guilt and ask for help. If you suspect someone around you is considering suicide, tell someone that can help and begin to fervently pray. If you know a family rocked by the suicide of one of its members, pray for them and support them. Don't avoid them, but let them know that you care. Don't let the false stigma of suicide drive you away from them at a time when they need friends the most. And don't let that false, man-induced stigma keep you from getting help if you need it.
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