That's Not Natural -The Torn Teapot, Part one

For Ryan, and those like him

who received rejection, instead of love.

justbecausehebreathes.com.

Update, April 21, 2015: Since I wrote this, I have met Matthew Vines, and heard him speak with a loving heart, and a mindful knowledge of the Bible. Please take the time to read his testimony. Matthew Vines

The subject of this post has laid heavy on my heart and soul for the past few months. I have spent time pouring through Scripture, and devouring books, and visiting blogs, and asking questions, and praying, and praying, and praying. In spite of the fact that I will lose friends, and may be labeled with once of the worst traits in fundamentalism: compromiser, I must share my heart and burden concerning this touchy and divisive matter. I no longer live in Guilt. I have journeyed to Grace.

A while back, the patriarch of Duck Dynasty revealed his personal views concerning homosexuality. I was already embroiled in my study of this issue when that whole media brouhaha erupted, and was tempted to write this post at that point. But after prayerful consideration, I waited. This is not a response to the media storm. This is a very personal, close-to-my-heart, issue that I have been dealing with up close, and I don't want my opinion sullied by an overwrought media.

So, here goes. The biggie. My opinion based on my studies--Stay with me until the end of this series of blogs now-- Homosexuality, or as many call it, "same-sex attraction" is NOT a sin. It is no more a sin than a man being attracted to a woman, or a woman being attracted to a man. But, as with all sexual attractions, it is fraught with misconceptions, lustful attitudes, and questions not easy to answer. The human race, and in particular the modern church, hasn't figured out how to handle "normal" sexual attraction, and its aberrant avenues. No wonder we hem and haw and blame and point fingers, and shy away from those who are different from mainstream. That's natural human behavior. 

Problem is, Christians are not supposed to be "natural." We are to look at all people as precious souls created by God for His glory. But picking one sin that everyone "naturally" agrees is wrong and harping on it and resisting any hint of compromise is far easier than than looking inside ourselves and at others though Christ's eyes. That close examination takes time, and it usually reveals difficult and puzzling realities that make us uneasy and frightened. It is "natural" and easy to vilify that which we don't understand while ignoring the hurt and pain our vilification might cause to the soul behind the behavior we have labeled as sin.

No matter where they stand on this issue, Christians, and the church in general, must change their attitude toward those dealing with same sex attraction. We have too many young people with too many questions, and too much guilt, and too few answers from Godly, spiritual leaders. Suicidal thoughts and actual suicides pose a real threat to these young people. So, at this point, whether we believe homosexuality is a sin or not, we need to address those that hurt with love. I'll address this point more in another post.

In the next entry, I will share how I started on this particular section of my journey to grace. It is a personal story involving someone very close. God used his experience to lead me to my current conclusions, and to burden me for a new phase of ministry. Pray with me for wisdom. Look to Christ.Serve God and love others,

Teapotjan

Teapot's Tremendous, Terrible Year in Review, Part Two

Ah, back to my review of last year. I was glad to wave goodbye to 2013 and hold great hope for this year.

It looks like July is next in the lineup. By the start of the month I had made a few robot sculptures for friend's on a commission type basis, and those who saw them encouraged me to make more and start selling them. At that point I started looking toward entering in art and craft shows in the fall. Also, one of my adopted sons, and a dear friend, began his journey to Afghanistan. It had already been a rough year at that point for both of us, and the time we spent before he left was short, but precious. Hopefully, I will get to see him soon.

August. Honestly, I spent most of this month making robot sculptures for an upcoming show in September. I also anticipated being out of commission for a couple of weeks in September due to surgery. So, that made for a hot blur of a month here in the deep south. I had a birthday in there somewhere, but since I am not officially acknowledging it, I am still thirty nine or so to others, (and about seven and a half on the inside). I do love frosting, and bright, shiny objects, and toys, and . . . . 

September came in on cool breezes and rain clouds. I continued to work on sculptures. On the 10th I went in for a robotic hysterectomy. My stayed in the hospital lasted less than 24 hours and the pain was minimal considering it was major surgery. I had hoped to lose some weight with the removal of some of my internal workings, but, alas, it was only a couple of pounds. Sigh. A week and a half later, I was able to appear as Lady Teapot, artist and inventor, at my first art/craft show. I shared a booth with a talented,sweet, young friend who did all of the set up to spare my old, post surgery body. It was a great time for both of us. She did really well with her amazing scratch art prints and originals, and I sold my very first piece to a stranger! What a rush. At the end of the month we took off to the beach for a much needed break.

The start of October found us still at the beach. The weather was warm, but the crowds were small. It was a restful time for all of us. I still can't believe how quickly I recovered from the surgery in September. I wasn't even a month out on vacation, but outside of some exhaustion, I did very well. In the meantime, we bought a duplex, and are currently in the process of fixing up one side for our daughter to use as her home.

November brought several pieces of awesome I will not soon forget. I mentioned in my last entry that in spite of an awful year, God had not forsaken us, and that better things lay ahead. I was offered a part time job with my former boss, and close friend at a new job God had provided for him. He had been laid off from his job in the Bubble where we had worked for many years together. It's been a great time already. I love working with him. And right around the time I started this job, my daughter lost hers. Ah well. I also attended a Steampunk Extravaganza conference and met many fellow steampunkers. What a blast. Lady Teapot met many kindred spirits, and plans to attend next year to see her new friends.

December! Even though I had worked for only two weeks, I was able to take a week off for our thirtieth anniversary. (Yes, if you believed my earlier statement, that means I was married when I was nine, get over it, and move on). We spent an amazing week in Tennessee being silly, and lazy, and romantic. It was a nice break from the usual routine of work, meals, bills, allowing us time to talk and reconnect for a few days. When we returned, the rush to Christmas was on, and, as you know, it has already sped by and we are in the first days of a new year. 

Wow. It went faster than I remember. How did those long days turn into such a short year?? That's my brief review. If I wrote everything that happened, it would be a book, and who has time for that right now?

Hail to the New Year! Happenings in the last few weeks have led me to consider a new ministry that may be considered controversial, and cause some to question my faith and sanity, but I say if God is in it-BRING IT ON!

Here's to a happy New Year. May God lead and be glorified.

Looking forward, and looking UP!
Teapotjan

Teapot's Tremendous, Terrible Year in Review. Part One

I'm not one for New Year's resolutions, but I do believe in goals. Not that I'm good at setting them, but I think they are important. Seriously. Maybe I show set a goal of improving my method of setting goals, but . . . .

Anyway, I do plan on blogging more consistently, even in the face of upheaval and change. Blogging helps the tempest in the teapot not grow to hurricane proportions, and maybe I can continue to help and bless people as I go.

Onward to the year in review! 
2013 contained a lot of happiness, disappointments, and general suckiness. I'm thrilled to kiss it goodbye soon. But, even while I go through its last days and think back, there isn't much I would change. That's hard to say really, but I wouldn't have learned the lessons I have learned, met the people I met, and grown the way I have grown without some of that said suckiness. 

January started out pretty well. But we had to pull my daughter from regular school because of her chronic nerve disorder. She missed her friends. She still hurt. She hates doctors appointments. And we learned that we are TERRIBLE at homeschooling. Remember that whole goal setting problem I have?. . . well apparently, it's genetic. 

February held its own challenges at work. My supervisor did not think I was doing my job well, so it was requested that I go to three weeks of classes about 2 hours aways from home. I enjoyed the classes. Made some very good friends, and did well in all of my scores. One of the connections I made allowed me to help with a project that brought me great satisfaction. What those classes did not help was the view that my supervisor had of my job performance.

March. I was disliking the long hours at work, and the seemingly endless things I was doing wrong. I was growing more and more depressed and working harder and harder, but I believe I was attempting this in my own strength. After a particularly candid visit with a friend I starting blogging at her suggestion that it would help. She was right.

April. Oh, sweet April. I posted my first blog entry in April. I've been reading back through some of those entries. I relived some of the emotions, and I bow my head and thank God that I have made it to the end of this year without any time in jail. I'm being facetious of course, but let's just say God and my family had to be patient. The number of issues I had at work seemed to decrease, but the strain of the hours, my daughter's pain, and an overcrowded house taught me some thing about myself that I didn't like. But God was good, and I grew closer to Him.

May marked my final month at my job. In spite of asking how to improve, and receiving satisfactory answers, etc. I still did not live up to my supervisor's expectations, and the month ended with me resigning that job at their request. If you know me even a little, you know I cried. My pride was hurt, and my wallet was suicidal. I know other things happened, but even now, that resignation overshadows my joy in anything in that month.

June brought relief in some areas and more stress in others. I was out of a job, but I enjoyed the free time to help others. I started trying to work on my art. My husband, baffled by my tears, confused by my complicated personality that had elevated me to delirious highs only to send me plummeting into aforementioned tears, worked to support my dream of becoming an artist and having a studio. But as hard as he tried, that old, suicidal wallet held back much of what he could do. However, as I will explain in the near future, God did not desert me or my family.

That's enough for one sitting. I have much more to share. Please pray that I will keep reaching for my current goal of consistent blogging. And if you have any comments or suggestions, please share either in the comments or by email, or on Facebook.

Thanks for reading. Stay tuned for part two. Spoiler alert! God is Still GREAT.

Looking back and looking up!
Teapotjan

Steaming Up

This weekend brings a new opportunity, and an old anxiety. I have tickets to the Upstate Steampunk Meet and Greet Convention in Anderson. I love the aesthetics of victorian steampunk, along with the ingenuity of many of its followers. The essence of steampunk involves individuality, and style along the lines of victorian sensibilities. I have suitable attire almost ready, and relish the thought of seeing other people's outfits and creations.

The anxiety? I am, after all, an introvert. Yes, I love to engage strangers in conversation, and I love people. But crowds intimidate and drain me, and crowds of strangers in costume with great mental capabilities and possible pagan and agnostic leanings? Scary. But . . . .

I see it as a chance to meet people further out of the Bubble. To be a witness. To show that those who follow Christ can and should embrace creativity and individuality as a gift from Him. But I am still just a bit freaked out. Sigh.

Prayers appreciated. I am attending for pleasure, and maybe some business. I hope that some will appreciate my quirky art, and want to see more. I am also attending to grow, and growth can be scary.

Steam On!
Teapotjan

Blue Teapot under a Black Cloud

Well, the last couple of weeks have proven to be . . . interesting. . . and full of life's lessons. Often, I wish I could go ahead and learn everything I need to know so the lessons would end, but I don't think that's how it works. So, ONWARD!

My last post concerning medication brought up comments from several people in my email feed, and private messaging. The comment from "anonymous" stirred up people more that I would have thought. Please know that I was not upset. That person obviously cares enough to want to help, and I welcome opinions other than my own. Isn't that how we learn and grow? We exhort, we listen, we measure against God's standards, apply as appropriate and move forward.

That said, I believe that the kind person that left the comment has never experienced the type of depression I was addressing: clinical depression. In no way do I want to attack that person. I know many folks who feel the same way, and it those people I want to address.

Here is a link to an article discussing the difference between feeling sad due to circumstances and being perpetually depressed: Is it Depression or is it the Blues?. EVERYONE gets the blues. (Hmm, that should be a song or something). An accident, a severe loss, or a bad day, along with many other things can bring about a case of the blues. However, most people bounce back with the passage of time. The blues can lead to the type of depression the commenter was addressing, especially if we turn from God during difficult times, but it is not clinical depression. Even then, I don't think just putting on a smile, and acting happy will solve the entire issue, though it can help. Maybe today's society should not toss medication at everyone in a funk so quickly. I do see fault in that. If someone is bogged down with a case of the blues, and it hinders their service to God, they should get counseling from a reliable, biblically-based source. Medication can not fix a spiritual problem, but many use it as an excuse for sin. Satan will use any weakness to hinder us, and he won't hesitate to attack when we are down. In these cases, we must examine our attitude, and heart for God.

But there are millions that experience true, can't-get-it-to-stay-away, clinical depression. A blood test (and recently it has been discovered,a CAT scan of the brain) can confirm that an individual's depression is a physical condition needing medical treatment. I confess, that as I sit here and write these words, I am dealing with that black cloud hovering over my head. I sit here knowing that God is in control, knowing that He loves me, actively engaged in intercessory prayer for a few particular individuals, praising God for His creation, and pondering Scriptures recently read. But, I feel depressed, with a small side of hopelessness. However, since I know that I suffer from a medical condition, I can ignore the cloud while acknowledging its existence, and continue to serve God. 

My youngest suffers from a chronic nerve disorder that causes constant and often severe pain in one of her legs. If you see her, you will see no signs of trauma, and she doesn't appear to be in pain most of the time. She takes medication to help control the pain, but it is never truly gone. We have been to several doctors, and she has gone through many treatments. During that time she learned what medical condition caused the pain, and is now able to mostly ignore it while still having to acknowledge that it's there. Sound familiar? She could give in to the pain and let it run her life, but God allowed us to find doctors and medicines that could help her. She looks to Him for help, and she is a sweet, and faithful Christian. I am very proud of her. But her pain still persists. If we had not sought help and treatment, I think she would now be completely crippled from the pain.

Everyone feels sad or depressed from time to time. It's a natural response to adverse circumstances. During those times, we must look to God for grace realizing He controls all things. 

Other folks suffer from a medical condition known as "clinical depression." My hopes and goals in all of this?

1. To help those folks realize that they need assistance, and to encourage them to seek it without feeling embarrassed or ashamed. Once they know why it's there, they can learn to acknowledge and ignore their hovering dark cloud and carry on with life. 
2. To help others, like the commenter, to realize that not all depression is     equal. Believe me, telling a clinically depressed person to smile and act     happy is like telling someone with undiagnosed pain to "walk it off." The statement is well-intentioned, but it will cause more harm than good.
3. To use my experiences with my own depression to uplift others and point   them to the Great Healer. He allowed me to suffer with this condition in     order for me to honor Him with the lessons I've learned. I want to do that with all my heart.

No more guilt folks, only repentance. Those who fully understand His grace and love desire to serve and honor Him. He knew us from the edge of time, and He provides a way through the darkest of clouds, and the deepest of blues.

Happy Depression Sufferer, medicated, and still serving Him!
Teapotjan