I dearly love my father. He lives with me, and my family. He will be eighty-eight years old on St. Patrick's day this year. I am his only child, and he still watches over me as fiercely as his did when I was little. He is my hero.
 |
| Dad with his favorite dessert, banana pudding. |
He was saved in his early thirties, not long before he married my mother, and about two years before
I was born. My folks were learning Christians when I was born. And being in the south, and being in the Bible belt, they grew in the Lord through fundamentalist churches. Yes, that is possible. God works in spite of human failings and misinterpretations. And I grew up as a "born-again, KJV Bible-believing, rapture-expecting, in-church-every-time-the-doors-open, marching-in-the-Lord's army, no-pants-wearing, no-cartoon-watching-or-unecessary-work-on-Sunday, don't-question-the
 |
| Shook his sweaty hand so much his ring would fly off and hit someone. Saw it firsthand. |
'man of God,' independent Baptist, daughter-of-the-church-pianist, treasurer, deacon and adult Sunday school class teacher and his lady-fellowship-speaking, sing-in-the-choir, teach-the-little-kids Sunday school teacher." Can I get an amen? (At this point, if I were one of my old pastors, I'd wipe my brow with a large handkerchief and take a sip of water from the cup that one of the deacons had hidden in the pulpit).
That being said, my dad is a loving and kind man. While he was, and is, part of the fundamentalist camp, his walk with the Lord has always been tempered with love. But even now, I see some of that old learning creeping into our conversations.
Today, we were talking about what the Bible actually says about the fate of those who do not choose God's gift of eternal life. I told him that I had been putting a lot of deep thought and study into it and had come to my own conclusions. That conclusion was contrary to the idea of eternal suffering and pain that we had always been told was a solid tenet based on Scripture. I gave several verses, peppered with a few greek word translations, and he listened intently. When I was done, he looked at me and asked, "did someone tell you this and you are buying into what they say?" I told him that to the contrary, this was my own study and my own interpretation of what I had read. And then it happened. My father shook his head and said "Deep thinking is a tool of Satan."
 |
| NO, NO, NO! |
It all came back in a sweeping flood of doubt and confusion, a feeling that I should not have questioned what I had always been taught. That I should take some preacher man's word for what I believed. I'm a woman after all and I should be submis. . . . wait. The flood halted.
My conclusion did not contradict Scripture. It didn't change that we need to witness and bring all into God's grace that we can. It only changed another person's interpretation of Scripture that isn't as set as I was led to believe. That's all.
And I stand before God as myself redeemed by Christ's sacrifice. He is my only advocate to God. Not my husband. Not a preacher. Not any other human. Me. Janet, deep-thinker and servant of God. No one between.
Teapotjan,
Beloved of God, and
child of the King
No comments:
Post a Comment