Tears. I confess I'm a cryer. That fact intensified when I hit the wonder of the CHANGE OF LIFE. I cry when I'm happy, I cry when I'm angry, I cry when I'm proud, overwhelmed, sad, terrified and almost any other strong emotion a human can experience. I also cry when I am . . . depressed.
The "D" word. The boogeyman term that haunts christian counselors, and secular psychiatrists through their entire career. It turns good Christians into unsuitable servants, and shuts down amazing people just by showing its boogeyman face. It is blamed for suicide, pain, illness, apathy, weight gain, and the fall of mankind as we know it. Okay, that last one is a bit much, but if you've ever been depressed you know that's kind of how it can feel.
Back in my guilt-ridden days, I believed that any time depression came my way, that I was sinning and not trusting in the Lord as I should. I would cry and repent, and pray for help, and still feel depressed. This concept still reigns in many christian counseling and psychiatry classes. Those who hold that depression is merely a spiritual problem, mostly men, can go so far as to put PMS and post-partum blues in this same category. I cried ANGRY tears at that one.
I wrote earlier that highly intelligent and creative people often suffer from depression more than other groups. It seems to go with the territory, though it's not exclusive. Depression can affect anyone. It can be crippling, especially when leaders like pastors, counselors, and teachers say it is a spiritual problem. That's just . . . well. . . depressing.
So my answer to all of this? Being depressed it not sinful. It is more often than not the result of an actual physical problem. Low levels of certain chemicals, genetics, stress, and several other medical issues can bring it on. Can it lead to sin and defeat? Why, of course it can. It can even kill us.
Look at it this way. No normal person wants to be sick. if a person has a cold, they can self-medicate, rest and get over it. If they have a severe illness, like cancer, it needs to be treated by a medical professional. The sick person leans on others for support. They go through therapy, if needed, and work at getting better. If they don't, they will die. It really doesn't help if the only thing the doctor says at the start is "You have cancer. You are going to be very sick."
Same with depression. No normal person wants to be sad but everyone gets the blues.There are those times when we are weepy, and sad for a short time and then it's over. But sometimes the blues get very dark very quickly and soon envelope those of us prone to depression in a dark, bleak cloud. As Christians, we must learn to recognize what is happening, reach out for help and work to get out of this cloud. If we don't, the depression will grow and we may not survive. Bless me, I don't think telling the person in the middle of a very dark cloud that it's all their fault and they should get out of it is really going to help. Do you?
Don't feel guilty about depression any more than you would feel guilty about getting cancer. Recognize it for what it is and find ways to treat it. I like the commercial that portrays depression as a dark blob that follows a person around. It's always there, but with work, prayer and treatment it can be controlled and made much less of a problem.
Here is a link to another blogger's solution to her battle with depression: My 21 Tips on Keeping It Together During Depression. The viewpoint is secular, but many of the principles are the same. Her original version was much-um-saltier. But at my request, she did what she called an "un-sweary" version.
Thanks to Rosalind Robertson @www.diycouturier.com I really appreciate your gracious help.
This will not be my only post on depression, I'm sure. It's a battle I fight almost every day. And it is a huge subject worth revisiting. But now, living in grace, I know that I have a Creator who made me as I am. Funny, creative, intelligent, stubborn, and friendly, and prone to depression. He loves me. He understands how sad I am more than any human could. He loves ME. Since I am washed in His blood, He no longer judges me even while He longs for me to do right and serve Him. And He loves me.
Don't let anyone condemn you for being depressed. If they aren't willing to lovingly help you, and they don't see depression for what it is, then get away from them, and find a loving Christian friend, pastor, counselor, friend who will guide you and show you how the light of Christ shines through the darkness of depression.
Seriously, if you already depressed how in the world is being told you're in sin going to help? Tears of laughter for that one.
Questions? Comments? Please let me know.
5 comments:
You're brave. And wise.
Hi, Jan. I tracked your blog down from The DIY Couturier because it sounded like a great concept and something I'd very much be interested in, although it's sad that something like this blog is necessary. I come from a legalistic church background, and I seem to be surrounded on both sides by Christians who are either too legalistic and judgmental, or too liberal, permissive and worldly. There don't seem to be a lot of middle-ground Christians who err on the side of love and compassion while still recognizing that there is such a thing as sin and that the Bible can't be cherry-picked. I'm also a huge geek, so you can imagine how hard it is to find people, especially other Christians, that I can really connect with.
At any rate, I just wanted to say thanks for starting this blog. There's a lot here that I can relate to.
So glad to hear from you. I guess you figured out that I'm quite the geek as well. You are right about middle-ground Christians. I guess it sounds too much like "compromise." If you have any ideas or stories to share, let me know. I want to hear from as many as possible. Please feel free to share.
Thanks for finding me!
Teapotjan
Ha ha, yeah, I found your Tumblr first and the TARDIS pic helped to clue me in. ;)
Most of my stories involve the zany hijinks of growing up as a budding sff and horror fan (and wannabe writer) at the height of the Satanic Panic with a Charismatic mom who saw demons and gateways to devil worship lurking in every corner. Fun times!
The worst stories didn't happen to me directly, but to friends and family members... like the youth pastor who took it upon himself to be the father figure in our household shortly after my dad died, who came to our house and straight up told my mom that she was a bad mother for letting my younger sister date a boy he didn't approve of (who was a member of said youth group, but was constantly ostracized because of his long hair and tattoos, regardless of how much he clearly loved the Lord), and told me that it was none of my business when I stood up for my mom.
Or the time one of the youth group moms brought all of the clean cut, "acceptable" YG kids over to the house, claiming that they were there to cheer up my sister (this was around the same time as the youth pastor's visit), and then, unbeknownst to me or my mom, shut themselves up in her bedroom and proceeded to start going through her closet and removing all of the "inappropriate" clothes they found there--anything black or tie-dyed, basically. And then insisted that she knew my sister, who was in fact still a virgin, was sexually involved with said boy and tried to make her confess. And meanwhile, this woman's 16 year old daughter was standing nearby keeping the secret that she was several weeks pregnant.
Or the family friend whose missionary husband abused her and cheated on her and sexually harassed the women in their mission, who finally left him and, after a lot of prayer and counseling and healing, tried to start her own ministry, and not only lost supporters but actually received hate mail telling her that she should be ashamed of herself for being divorced and trying to start a ministry.
Like I said: Fun times!
I've struggled with depression myself. I had a major bout when my second was born and it seemed like it lasted for 2 years. Somewhere along the way I figured I couldn't call it post-partum any longer. Life was so hard. The things that would normally "get under my skin" took on a different dark sentiment that I always tried to hide. I think the thing that was the hardest was that situational things would also play into the mix and when you reach out to someone that feel like they need to back up because you're just going to gossip. I think it's important to really listen to people because the focus of what they might be trying to tell you isn't about the other person but rather how they are coping with it themselves.
Anyway, after getting fed up and going to the dr. She said I better get on Vitamin D because every single living creature in our state is deficient. BOOM! That was the answer! I feel like a new woman!
Post a Comment