Change happens. Sometimes it holds great promise and improves the lives of those experiencing it. Other times, it brings sorrow and distress. Rarely does it affect us in no way. And it almost always holds some aspect of fear, and anxiety even when it is change for the good.
One of the hardest things in my journey from guilt to grace has been the change. I have left old ways, and I am embracing new ones. But I spent the better portion of fifty years in those old ways. They are familiar and sometimes cozy, and well . . . . easier to handle because they are so familiar. I made only a few major decisions and left the rest to the leaders I had chosen to trust. Actually that trust in leaders was one of the decisions. They already had studied the Bible, they were in an authoritative position, and I could trust what they said with no question and apply it to my life and be a good Christian and be submissive and . . . go to Heaven based on what they taught. Right?????
Not really. Our relationship with God is personal. A biblical pastor's prayer during a service is not our own prayer. Our leaders do not speak to God for us, we must do that ourselves. He longs to hear OUR voices praise HIM. He uses Godly leaders to teach us, but He wants to have our hearts and our ears for Himself. We are God's very own. Each of us who believe Him. That just makes me shiver with delight.
So, as I realized that not all of the teaching I received was Biblical and might indeed have been only the personal opinion of a fellow sinner, I started on this rather frightening journey. The familiar landscape of fundamentalism fell away, and the narrow road of God's grace rose ahead of me in what seemed to be a glorious, but formidable and steep climb. I felt weak in my beliefs. I was unsure of what I actually did believe, and I wondered if I could truly break away. As I've said before, I've almost turned back several times. But that glorious road rising ahead and the warm light of God's grace shining on me, a sinner that He loved and wanted, beckoned me forward, and I can't look back.
Some of you are wanting to break away into the freedom of God's grace, but you are afraid of what your church friends will say, what your pastor will think, what your parents will do. You're right, this is scary. It really, truly is. We're human and most of us want to please others. But our main goal as Christians must be to please Him and develop our own relationship with Him. All those people must make their own personal decisions, and they may not like the path you chose, but if God is in this change, He will guide you. I would say "I promise" but I don't have to, because God already said that He promised.
If the Lord leads in some of my next few entries, I'll get into some of the specifics of things that frightened me as I have journeyed these last few years. Some are funny, some are considered controversial, and others are still, frankly, scary. Since I won't be perfect until I reach Heaven, I guess that's how it will be until then.
Look into your own heart, seek out wisdom from God's Word, talk with those who have started the journey before you and ask questions. It's okay to be frightened, but don't let fear keep you under cloud of guilt. When you're ready, come join me and others on this glorious high road to Heaven and grace.
Warming on the narrow way in the light of God's Grace,
Teapotjan
No comments:
Post a Comment