As Time Goes By

I often say that it is amazing how long days can turn into such short weeks, months, and years. I can't believe how little I have posted of late, and if you could see me, you would know that I'm hanging my head in shame. So, before I get to real writing, let me share my excuse for being in absentia.

Since I left my full-time job, I've been working to start up a studio/business in order to sell some of my creations. Thing is, I have to have creations in order to sell them. I have the opportunity to be a vendor at a craft/art show on September 21, and wanting to make money and a name for myself, I've been working rather feverishly on several art projects. Life gets in the way, and as it would, I also have surgery schedule during this month. Frantic? Yes. Skilled in every aspect needed to complete all the creations popping up in my head? No. So long days actually feel short right now, and the month seems even shorter. But, hey, I'm up for the challenge, and if I go longer than a month without posting, you might want to check on me. :0D

Now, on to the real post: As Time Goes By. I've been considering my life along with the life of my husband, and many of our friends. Some people I have know for decades and decades, and I find myself comparing the younger them to the older them. What I have found in my casual ponderings? For the most part, people's basic personalities really do not change. Instead, they intensify. We may mellow a bit, and make wiser decisions, but we are driven more and more by our individual personalities and the choices our personalities dictate as we grow older. Think about one of your elderly friends. What do their wrinkles, countenance and actions say about their lives? I've seen older folks whose faces have frozen into that look one gets when they smell something bad. I saw an elderly lady this week who apparently spent her life smirking. And I know several Godly saints whose faces reveal a life of laughter, and faith.

Why post about it? It seems so obvious. But, it's the older me that sees it as obvious. My children and their friends don't see it, really. They know me only as a grownup. They don't know the person I was before they came along. And my children do not realize what a younger person's personality traits can bode for the future. My acquaintances from childhood turned out pretty much the way everyone expected with a few exceptions, and those fulfilled expectations prompted this post.

We all pray that our children will find the perfect spouse. Unfortunately, to get to that point, many of them . . . date. It's not my favorite concept to be honest, and if I could arrange marriages for each of them, well . . . you know.
However, most young people find themselves dating and that where this time intensifies personality comes in to play.

I know a young teen couple in a relationship currently. And something is bothering me. She is sweet, smart, pretty and comes from a loving family. She's the kind of girl a mother wants her son to date. The guy she is dating? He goes to church. He is in good favor with the girl's parents. He's nice looking, and smart. He also treats the things important to her as optional, while his agenda takes precedence. And he consistently walks away when he becomes uncomfortable, and returns later to complain to her about whomever or whatever made him upset. Does he hit her? No. But is the potential there? Yes, yes, yes. 

There are too many stories of domestic abuse in our circles. There are too many abused spouses and children. There are too many eyes turned away from obvious issues that can lead to those stories, and those broken hearts.

Look over your children's relationships. Share what you see in their friends. Let them know the early signs of an abusive relationship. Tell them that personality problems rarely get better and usually intensify. If you see problems, don't turn away because it's hard and . . . you don't want to be seen as an "old fogey" or "old-fashioned." I'd rather suffer through a bucket of eye rolls, and be labeled as a nosey mom for life than to see my child in an abusive relationship.

If you would like to share some of the early signs you've noticed that lead to abusive relationships, please leave a comment. I'd like to compile a list of real-life, personally observed signs to share with young people going into the world of dating. In this journey to Grace, I want to help as many as I can live a fulfilling, happy life. God, help me not only to uncover abuse and help the victims, but to work to prevent abuse in any way You make possible for me.

Looking up,
Teapotjan