The Times, They are A-Changing

Today I celebrate the third anniversary of my 49th birthday. While I don't enjoy the physical changes that age brings about, I do embrace the lessons that the years have brought my way. It would be nice to be 25 again, but only if I could take my current brain with me. I look back at the 25 year old me, and think about how clueless I was and shudder at some of the things I thought and did. I firmly believe that God brings circumstances good and bad to change us into His image, and since I've already done so much growing, I don't want to repeat those lessons that were difficult to learn.

Also, this past weekend, my oldest child moved into her own apartment. She's not very far away, but as any parent with older kids knows, it's not the same when a child pays their own electric bill. I'm sad and glad all at the same time. You know, all bittersweet and stuff. In addition, we placed a ridiculously low offer on a nearby duplex, and it was accepted! So, we are on our way to being landlords. This is something we had been trying to do for quite a while but things had not fallen into place. Then, suddenly during this time of change, the Lord provided financing, downpayment, and legal options that made the purchase possible. And today, my youngest child started a new online school, Connections Academy. How's that for a lot to happen in a week?

My last post, "Nice Guys Finish Last?," drew some interesting comments both here and in personal messaging. Please remember that my blog acts as an outlet, and hopefully as a help to those experiencing some of the same things. The people in the incident I mentioned are still dear to me, and I certainly forgive them. But to forget what happened would leave me vulnerable to repeating the mistake. Maybe that's a good subject for another post soon. 

So, that's it for now. As things begin to calm down, I'll post more. I have a lot I have been pondering and want to share, but the timing and the Spirit just have not met up just yet. 

Changing, and learning,
Teapotjan

Nice Guys Finish Last?

Being raised in a Christian home in the South by kind and loving parents formed me into what most people consider a "very nice person." God gave me the gift of empathy, and I love trying to help people try to live a happier life by supporting them and giving counsel when necessary.

This sounds great, doesn't it? "How Christ-like. How generous. How very nice you are," people tell me. I don't help people for praise or for anything in return. I do it because God gave me this gift and attitude and I want to serve Him by using it. At least that's what I like to think. 

The problem comes because most people are not nice. People in general are suspicious of those who are nice, thinking that they must have some hidden agenda that drives their actions. Even in Christian circles those who are incredibly helpful received the labels of "kiss-ups," "do-gooder," or "opportunist," among other things. The current generation of young adults has become so jaded by the "it's all about me" syndrome, that the help of others becomes an intrusion, or an insult to their individuality.

In the last few days, what started as a prayerful attempt to bring resolution to a situation between mutual acquaintances, and to find an answer to a pressing need in my own life and home, was labeled as a rude intrusion. And I found that my offer of help in the future would not be needed and they would seek a neutral party if the need should ever arise.

Because I had worked at being neutral, and had prayerfully initiated a meeting that I attended with great discomfort, I was flabbergasted! Actually, I still am. I had seen an issue. The issue affected people around me, my new business, and my home. I needed information, not gossip, or opinion, so I did what I know is right. I went to the source to get the information, and offered to mediate or help in the future. While I didn't get the answer I wanted, I honestly respected the person's decision, and consider it closed. 

The point of this post? To tell you that on this earth, nice people do finish last. At least in the perspective of the temporary. My initial reaction to this whole situation? I planned to NEVER help anyone but my very closest, most trusted friends again. Ever. Done with helping young people. Done with going out of my to help or offer assistance. Done dealing with the emotional baggage others carry. Done. Finished. Retired. Over it. Me, myself, and mine, that's it.

My feelings after a couple of days? I've learned my lesson: Nice people do finish last on this earth. They often get overlooked, walked on, questioned, and labeled. But when a "nice" person faces Christ and has their actions judged by the Savior, those things questioned by other people, but done in the name of Christ will endure the fires of judgement, and will indeed be the things that LAST. Those difficult tasks completed in the name of Christ become trophies to throw at His feet, and I'll take my LAST place in His light for eternity.

Will I still help people? Yes. Will I jump in as readily? Maybe not. In the last two years, I've been twice burned after two huge investments of time, money, and emotion. Can we learn from every situation? Yes, and it seems that we learn more from the bad ones. 

So, here I sit in last place, stinging, and hurt, but hopeful. Hopeful that I'll get to see resolution and growth in the people I help, and hopeful for His soon coming.

Looking to the finish line with hope and faith,

Teapotjan

Looking Past the Differences

All differences aside, I weep tonight for the Phelps family. Chad Phelps and his wife met their Savior this afternoon after a fatal accident on an off ramp barely a mile from their church and home. Many know his father, Chuck Phelps, from the Tina Anderson abuse story and the subsequent trial and ramifications.

I do not claim to know for certain if Pastor Phelps' actions during that time were right or wrong. But I do know that I have a Christian brother suffering one of the greatest hurts a human can face, the loss of a child. My prayers are with him, his family, and his church.

May God be glorified in this tragedy. May God give grace abundantly to those seeking His face. May God have mercy on any of us who cannot forget past problems long enough to lift up a fellow Christian before His throne.

In Grace,
Teapotjan

Facing Fears

Back at the end of June, and before the startling month of July, I wrote about the fear involved in leaving the familiar ways of Fundamentalism. As God often does, He used several circumstances to teach me more. As I do, I delved into a bit of depression, and doubt. July has been a long, hard month for one reason or another, but it has been a month of learning, change, crying, laughing, doubt, and assurance.

Since leaving my last job, I've encountered more extreme ups and downs on my emotional roller coaster than normal. The lack of my own personal income limits my monetary ability to give to foreign missions, but that lack also helps me find new ways to contribute. The lack of a scheduled job distracts me from achieving goals, but gives me the time needed when I am focused. And the lack of needed room in my home frustrates me, even while those causing it are precious to me. I have the opportunity to reach for a dream, but I have many obstacles to overcome before reaching it. And of course, during these ups and downs, that old feeling of fear and the longing for the familiar crept up on me at the worst of times. 

One of those fears? Confronting those for whom I feel responsible. Truly, I hate confrontation, but I often find myself needing to initiate it. The biggest problem with that? I can no longer fall back on the pat phrases and teachings of my earlier church days. "Because I said so" and "Because that's the ways it's always been," and "because that's what Dr.Nowayjose said" no longer cuts it. After thinking on my own, and having my mind opened by the Holy Spirit, I must seek out the true, biblical reason that supports my objection to an issue. Self-doubt rears up, but, if I approach the person, or persons with the right attitude and prayerfully confront them, a surprising thing happens: amazing truths come out of my mouth! Many times after a confrontation, I'm astounded at what I have said, and I realize that it was not me and my wisdom, but that of God. He brings things from His Word to my mind from a great sermon heard years ago. Or an illustration will pop up in my head that fits the situation perfectly, and I recall it like it happened the day before instead of in the 80's. This must be what the Bible refers to as being a vessel for God's use, and it is a gift and a blessing when it happens. God requests me do something that I hate and fear, and then uses it to bless me when I obey! 

Next post, another fear. In the meantime, I would appreciate prayers for strength and motivation. I am starting up an art studio, but I have several obstacles as I mentioned. My plan is to use the money made not only to help support my family, but to help further the Gospel. It is my heart's desire to use the creative gift God gave me to His Glory.

Full Steam Ahead!

Teapotjan

Got Faith?

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1

In God's infinite wisdom and in His desire for a creature that would love Him by choice, faith and the choice to have faith in our Creator becomes the ultimate definition of humankind.

Many times I have heard the popular "God said it, I believe it, that settles it." Ultimately that is truth. We can even leave out the "I believe it" part and the statement is still truth. Such a simple saying, and yet, the human heart and psyche are anything but simple.

I have a friend who is struggling with some terrible issues. To be honest, I have many friends who are struggling with one terrible thing or another. I'm in the midst of an oppressive struggle even now. I have faith. I believe in God's faithfulness, and its substance. But, as a human with human needs, I long for actual physical arms to wrap around me, hold me close, and tell me with complete knowledge and power that everything will work out and all will be well on this earth and soon. 

For now, those arms manifest only in faith, and for now, the darkness of my spirit and the tears in my eyes make that manifestation pretty hard to see. It is these darkest of times when our faith grows weak that we need it the most. But, guess what? We don't need much faith at all to get past the dark times. Matthew 17:20 tells us that our faith need be no bigger than a mustard seed. I once had a bracelet charm with that verse and a mustard seed on it. That seed was no larger than the head of a pin.

In God's infinite wisdom and in His desire for a creature that would love Him by choice, faith and the choice to have faith in our Creator becomes the ultimate definition of humankind. And because He understands His creation, and its frailty, He requires only a little small bit of faith to please Him. Just a little, bitty bit of faith in a God that made all of creation sweeping the skies with His hands and scattering the planets and stars with His fingertips is all He requires to help us move through our struggles and live with Him in eternity.

Are there people with bigger faiths? Yes. Are there times when our faith will be larger? Probably. But the sweetest thing to me? That in our darkest, teary-eyed, want to die, or sleep or give up forever times, all He needs is that tiniest bit of faith to give us the comfort of Heaven and eternity.

Thinking that's a pretty good deal,
Teapotjan