Teapot in the Tempest! Sink or Swim or Trust

Blah de blah de blah de blah. Last night with some warning I was hit with waves of depression. Not the nice gentle waves that can almost rock a body to sleep with their normalcy and familiarity, but big, crashing waves washing over me one after another. I should have known. People have been asking me for several days if everything was okay. I gave my usual "no, but yes" answer meaning that a few things were bothering me, but not enough to take me down. But then yesterday evening something triggered the storm and the waves began to crash down on me from every direction.

I'm not sure what the trigger or triggers were. Looking back over yesterday and the few days preceding, I have my suspicions. Any one of several things could have been the culprit, and all are legitimate troubles. All are worthy of prayer, and a few could cause downright hopelessness. But, I've come along way since first realizing I suffered from depression.

Today, I'm still down. I feel tired and restless. There's a faint ripple of hopelessness around me, but it's very faint. The waves have calmed, but the sky is still stormy, so I'm still on edge, concerned that another storm will come. But I am okay. Not great. I don't feel like skipping through fields singing with the Von Trapp children, or cooking, or anything. But I'm okay.

At one point earlier in my life, this would have made me feel terribly guilty. Did not all the preachers say that Christians should always be happy and cheerful and loving and singing and . . . how dare we be depressed when Christ died for our sins and we have an eternity in Heaven waiting where all the Christians will be happy and cheerful and loving and . . . whoopideedoopdeeday. Heaven isn't today. Today is hard. Life on this earth is hard. I don't always do the right thing and neither do those around me, so stupid exists here. Stupid makes life hard.

Am I sinning? Not by being depressed. I could easily though. I have the potential to let the waves drown me and wipe out any service I could do for the Lord. But, with the Lord's help, I'm not going to sink, I'm going to get out of this storm. And that's what makes the difference. You don't drown just by being in rough water.You can swim-for a while. But there finally comes a point when you give up fighting and either give in to the waves and drown, or reach out and get help. For a Christian, help is always available. My choice today is to reach for out for that help, to cry out to my Savior, and seek out comfort from the friends He has given me that understand and will pray for me. 

Like I said, I'm still down, but I'm not feeling guilty about it. God has reminded  me that their are calmer waters and clear skies ahead. Sink? Not today. Swim? Not that good at it. Trust? Yes, in my wonderful Lord.

Thank you, Lord, that you lift me out of the tempest and calm the storms of depression that rage around me. Thank you for the true friends you have provided that I know will pray for me and understand. Remind me, Lord, to pray for them when they are drowning in their own tempest. Help us to help others with encouraging words. Keep us from guilt, but bring us to repentance if we do give in to the waves.

Thank you, Lord!
Teapotjan